Onion Glasses

Is it true that the Dutch enjoy sex in the kitchen? I hate to sound ignorant, but I am really wondering. I know that "neuken in de keuken" is a real phrase, but do the Dutch especially love to have sex in the kitchen? I have already goggled this and all that comes up are a couple of message boards and urban dictionary, so please only answer if you know from some other source. If so, I'd like to know why as well. Thank you.

There is an attractive man that walks his dog in the field behind my house. What is the best way to get him to? notice me? Should I press myself up against the kitchen window and wait for him to notice me, or should I be a little more straight forward and just hide in the bushes and use my night vision goggles to stalk him? I thank you all for your help with this delicate matter. Good morning to all of my favorite people!

where can i get a pool/kitchen table? im moving into a house soon with my boyfriend. he has his heart set on having a pool table but we dont have much room. i hear you can get really nice ones that double as a dinning room table. ive goggled it but havent come across one. id like to get him one. anyone any idea where i could start looking??thanks :)

Does anyone else have this Full House Problem? Full House is a wholesome and delightful show for the whole family. However often when I watch it, I become extremely aroused. I often fantasize about Uncle Jesse and Uncle Joey making sweet man-love on the kitchen table and Bob Saget giving Kimmy Gibbler some Arabian Goggles. Is this harmless fantasy or should I be ashamed for erotisicing America's favorite TV family? PS: Don't judge me. You know you think the same way.

Why do we cry when we cut onions? Can anyone tell me how to reduce the crying stuff when I cut onions? I tried wearing swimming goggles, but yet...I still cry. Even when my mom was cutting onions in the same kitchen as I am in; while I was using my laptop. yet my eyes felt spicy then i had to go to another room.Pls help!!!

uh oh - beer goggles alert.? so i was just, you know, hanging out at a bar, got chatting to some girl and she seemed nice. couple of tequilas later she was at my flat - and one thing led to another.. then as she was about to undress she said 'i hope you dont mind, but im pre-op transexual' then lowered her underwear to reveal a penis. i didnt know what to do so i ran out of my flat and i went for a walk, i came back and all my possessions had gone and the only thing left was her penis- in the middle of the kitchen floor. i mean she must be dead now? can i get done for murder? im assuming shes dead due to loss of blood- not because i broke her heart or anything. also i havent touched the penis- it could be fake. please read the question with a southern american accent.

Is this diet healthy? Eat 10 small snacks only? Im 14, 5'7 125, im not trying to lose alot of weight just tone up mostly. I read it will boost your metabolism, and I really like the idea of just grazing all day, so your never really hungry. Does this ''diet' sounds good? Suggesting for different food are welcome, but im working with what I have in the kitchen!!! ( goggled all my calories) 9am-orange 70 cals 10- half cup cheerios- 50 12- a few pieces of celery & a small amount of penut butter (organic) 150-200 1pm-one banana-100 2-chesse stick-110 3- baby carrots(70) and a tiny bit of ranch(30)-100 4-glass 2% milk, with powder chocolate vitamin powder-150 5-one serving mini snack prezes-110 6-small salad ( just lettuce & spinach) and a little Italian dressing-150 TOTAL-1040 ( maybe try to fit in a extra orange?) Or more penutbutter?? Plus tons of water threw out the day. Im active for at least 2 hours a day ( ride and messing with horses) and work out for about 30 a day How does this sounds?

Paranormal/poltergiest activity in my house??? Help! I need professional advice!? When I was about three, we moved into a house that is about 5-10 minutes away from where we live now. I lived with my Mom, Dad, my younger sister, and my older half-brother (I am a girl who is now 15). For the first few years, everything was fine, no problems there. But then some odd things started happening. I'm not sure what the earliest sign of activity was, but I will try to list as many as I can from where I think that it may have started. -- My brother came home late one night, and went into his room (which was right next to mine). In that room there are obviously four walls, but on the opposite side of two of them there is only the outside area of our property. When he went in to the room, he heard loud tapping on one of the walls with the outside on the other side. He got freaked out and tapped back, but the tapping moved to another wall, one of which was inside. He repeated this for about 20 minutes, and proceded to sleep on the couch. -- Once, my entire family went to the neighbor's house to go swimming. Their house was so close to ours that if we forgot anything we could just run back to our house and get it. I had forgotten my goggles, so I went back to my house with one of my friends who is a year older than me. We didn't turn anything in the house on or anything, because we knew that we were going to be in and out. I went out on the patio to get the goggles while he waited in the kitchen. He started calling me, and I ran back inside. He told me that he heard people talking in my parents room. This happened twice, and we got freaked out and left. -- As my sister and I got older, and my brother moved out to go to college, more things started happening frequently. For instance, we would see black, dog-like things walking in our hallway (this only happened three times in a row), things would break without anyone touching them, things would be in different places than where we had left them, and we would sometimes feel as though we were being watched. A few of my friends felt it as well, and we all believed that my house was haunted. We moved out of that house about a year and a half ago (we still own it, but currently have rentors living in it), and everything was fine until a few months ago. Then, one night, my closet door unhinged itself, fell, and broke my window. Ever since then things have been randomly breaking without anything touching them, and a couple of weeks ago a water bottle flew across my room by itself. My Dad is beginning to observe the activity, but says that he "doesn't want to jump to conclusions". Neither of my parents believed anything until a few months ago when it started again. We are not crazy, and we are really getting freaked out! What should/can we do?! Actually, I did check the room that my friend was hearing voices from, and the TV was not on and there was nobody in there. My Mom is really concious about power saving, so I doubt that she would leave a TV on while we were out. Also, I was bout 10 or 11 when that happened. Can you blame me for running away? Also, I doubt that our first house would have been having pipe issues because it wasn't more than 20 years old when that happened. I don't have a younger brother... I was alone in my room when the water bottle did that, and it was sitting right on my desk where I could see it. I think that I would know if someone had ran in and thrown it... And the neighbor's house that we had been visting wasn't next door or across the street or anything like that. It was just close enough to walk to and from. And he said that it was a man and a woman talking about something quietly. Also, I forgot to mention that I have had some odd things happening with cameras (video and picture) sometimes when they have full battery they will randomly freeze for a couple of seconds and all of the battery will be gone. I'm not sure if that has anything to do with spirits, but it's kinda freaky. We actually used to live about 5 minutes away from a place where there was a supposedly haunted house. It was featured on an episode of Ghost Hunters I think. (For TombRaider) I just checked that website that you gave me, and it turns out that my particular city has had the most sightings out of any city in my state! Thanks so much!

Looking for the name of a movie? Some friends were on a boat and a man started a fire in the kitchen.The boat burned and the guy who started it survived and a woman.He did it so he could get with her.Only her husband was found in the water.They were stranded on the island.The guy had goggles to look for food and the husband didn't. While her husband went to look for food i think the woman slept with the guy and the husband found out.Can't think of the name.

did you know? toothepaste helps remove scuffs from leather shoes.just squirt on and wipe off with a moist cloth.the leather will look alomost new. also it cleans your piano keys.squirt it on your keys and use a toothbrush,and wipe them down with a damp cloth.works better on ivory keys but will do great on plastic also. use it to whiten the white part of your sneakers. use it to wash a fish smell off of your hands (especially for fishermen/women. polish a diamond ring. deodorize baby bottles by scrubbing it with toothepaste prevent fogged goggles. prevent bathroom mirrors from fogging up by useing a non-gel and wipeing it on the mirror and then wipeing it off before you take a shower.shine bathroom and kitchen chrome/or even car chrome clean the bathroom sink (dont just waste that toothe paste that ends up on the sink. remove crayon from walls remove ink and lipstick from fabric by squirting it on the area and rub vigorously.rinse with water and repeat.repeat if necessary. ONLY USE NON-GEL

Can anyone give me their thoughts on my very short (and whimsical) story? I enjoy writing short stories and was wondering if anyone could give me their thoughts on this latest one I've written. Any input would be greatly appreciated! Not long ago, in a modestly sized town in mid-western America, there lived a man called Richard Drake. And every day at 8:00 a.m. Richard Drake would wake up, and brush his teeth. Then he would shower, dress, and make himself three buttermilk pancakes along with a glass of orange juice. Upon finishing his meal, Richard Drake would drive to the local coffee shop for a little bit of caffeine. He would say hello to Mrs. Robinson, who was eating a cranberry scone. He would converse with old Seymour Stanton, and he would drop a coin in the ragged, tattered hat of the homeless veteran on the corner, who was always preaching something or other for the passersby. And after that, Richard Drake would make his way to his place of work, arriving at exactly 9 o’clock, to sort mail for seven hours. Richard Drake would then drive home, eat dinner, read the paper, and distract himself with an array of various other occupations of his time before going off to bed, to repeat it all over again. And that, in essence, was the complete life of Richard Drake. Simple, easy, and unaffecting. It was exactly how he had always envisioned it. It was exactly how he liked it. And it went on for some time. Until one day, when the life of Richard Drake would be turned over upon itself. --- It was a completely ordinary morning in mid December. Patches of snow littered the landscape. A snippy breeze made its rounds through the town, and Richard Drake’s house had that air of a cozy, yet brisk bite of cold that welcomes the thought of a seat next to the fireplace. Richard Drake began his morning routine as normal. He showered and dressed himself. He brushed his teeth, and he made himself a breakfast of three buttermilk pancakes. It was upon stepping out front door that Richard Drake came upon a small parcel seated directly in front of him, wrapped in plain brown cardboard, on which there was a small note that in bold black print read the word: DRAKE. “Why that’s odd,” Richard Drake thought to himself. “I didn’t come across this package while sorting the mail yesterday.” Puzzled and understandably interested, Richard Drake momentarily retreated back into his house and then emerged with a letter opener, with which he carefully cut the thick brown tape along the top of the box, so as not to damage the goods inside. Upon opening the mysterious package, Richard Drake found a number of things. There was a perfectly circular pocket watch about the size of a quarter. There was a magnifying glass, and a brown pair of old aviator’s goggles. And beneath it all was a set of hastily written instructions on a sheet of scratch paper folded many times over. Written on the top of this piece of paper were the words, WARNING: Handle with care. Those who change the future will find that they can never return to the past. Those who change the past will find the future unattainable. Underneath this caution was a list of 5 steps. And they read: 1.Adjust watch to exact year, day, and time of your desired destination using the black knobs on the left hand side. 2.If device proves to be too small for accurate adjustment, please use the magnification lens provided. 3.Equip goggles over eyes, lest you lose them during travel. 4.Device allows for travel through time, not space, so please make your own way to desired destination in the first three dimensions. 5.Click the red knob on the right hand side of the watch, and be on your way. Needless to say, Richard Drake was intrigued. But alas, he would be late for work if he did not depart soon, so he put the watch, and the magnifying glass, and the goggles, and the instructions back into the box, and he placed the box on the kitchen counter for later. And then he left for the local coffee shop, as usual. There he greeted Mrs. Robinson, eating her cranberry scone, and then he conversed with old Seymour Stanton. Then he dropped a coin in the old tattered hat of the homeless war veteran. And then he went to work as normal and sorted the mail for seven hours. When his work day was over, Richard Drake hurried home, filled with anticipation, to take a closer look at his new package. He walked into the kitchen to examine the quarter sized watch. It contained four rows of information, which from top to bottom, included year, month, day, and of course time. Richard Drake struggled at first to adjust the miniscule dials on his own, with pursed lips and squinted eyes, but in the end his vision failed him, and so he resorted to the magnifying glass included. Holding the watch at an angle to the light, Richard Drake used the lens to examine the various numbers and knobs that littered the small contraption. He then carefully adjusted the date to December 13th 1996, exactly one day previous. He strapped on the old brown goggles as the directions

Anyone can make sense of this for me, please? My husband has been working away, coming home weekends. He has been in construction all his life, in a pretty high position, part of his job is also teaching health and safety. His background is carpentry. We discussed and agreed on plans for this weekend, which was to finish our yard and garden, and HE wanted to till up the garden so I can plant. Yesterday he decided that he was going to rip out an old dishwasher that we had coming with the house, and we never used. The flooring underneath was pretty nasty, we would have had to fix a small area. He decided that once he has to do that, he wants to replace the entire kitchen and dining room floor. I wasn't prepared for this, byt hey, whatever, it's something getting done. There was nothing wrong with the rest of the floor, and I talked him out of doing the dining room, because I like it as it is. We went to Home Depot, boought new flooring, half way through he starts b%thiching about how much he hates doing this. He set up his saw in the garage, I just spent hours cleaning saw dust off everything. I had to haul EVERYTHING and hose it down, shop vacuum everything. All he had to do was throw a few tarps on things to cover them up, so not every single item in there gets covered with dust. He has been in bed all day, claiming that he is sick from enhaling all that saw dust - he never wears a safety mask, or gloves, goggles, his words: he doesn't need them because he is tough. Never mind that we have spend getting splinters and slivers out of his hands and eyes before. I got the stove and the fridge sitting in the living room, I cannot use, and the kitchen half way done. He has been in bed all day, and asking me to just lay there with him. I have been cleaning up after him, and doing laundry, and yardwork. His tools are all over the place, kitchen, garage. I have just come back from a visit with my cousin and family. He just put hardwood down in their entire house. He had a vacuum cleaning with him, and a bag of his tools, as soon as he was done for the time being, cleans up, tools going back in the bag zipped up, put aside. No mess, no clutter, and he is not even in construction, just an average office guy. I don't get it... Forgot to mention that when we bought the new flooring they had a special that they would have installed it at no extra charge. I suggested we go for it, but he got offended that I would wants somebody else to do our renos when he is a pro.

My dreams last night were weird...help analyzing them? I tried Dream Dictionary, but I'm still clueless. In the first two dreams, it was the same thing. I was in the house I grew up in & a wolf got into my house. It started attacking one of my dogs & I was cornered by the fight, so I was trying to climb up a kitchen counter to get away from it, but the wolf kept trying to bite me. The wolf kept chasing me & trying to attack me until I eventually killed it (the death was gruesome, which is why I won't go into detail about it..I'm a tad traumatized by that part of the nightmare & I'm 19 lol). I woke up crying. The third & fourth dream were also the same as each other. I was in a room w/ aliens that were disguised as humans & one was wearing these goggles that were computerized & they put the goggles up against my eyeballs & were like reading into my brain & somehow turned my thoughts into food. They took me back to some place & kept me captive, but I don't remember the reason. I remember being released & being at some ceremony & leaving w/ my family & a 6 year old little blonde girl that I can't decide whether she was supposed to be my sister or my daughter (I have no sisters or children in reality). The last dream, I was driving somewhere w/ my family & we were caught in a bunch of tornadoes. One picked up our car & I remember my door being ripped off of the car, then I woke up. I was very dizzy when I woke up. Any idea what any of these mean?

What do think of the 1st chapter of my book? what do u think of it im not quite done with this chapter Books, Bras and Best friends Chapter one SUMMER “OMG!! I can’t believe 6th grade is OVER!!” “I know totally, I think we should celebrate!” “OK, I’ll call you later and you can come over my house and we can swim and grill out and stuff.” “OK, but don’t forget to call me!” Emma got of the bus and as it passed, flashed a “call me” sign to Leah and she replied back with a thumbs up sign and a smile. “Your not gonna call her are you?” Asked Casey. “Well, yeah I gotta have her over, but I’ll wait a little just to freak her out.” Casey smiled an “I thought so smile” and rolled her eyes. “Bye, Lee.” “Bye, Case! Don’t forget to call.” Leah smiled and waved bye through the bus window, she promised herself that this is defiantly gonna be a summer to remember. Emma sat in her kitchen chair waiting for the phone to ring. She had her bag packed with a towel, brush, sun block and goggles. Emma had been sitting there for almost an hour waiting for Leah to call. She was about 2 minutes away from calling Leah herself, when the phone finally rang. Emma picked it up so quick it didn’t get the chance to ring twice. “Hey, told ya I’d call.” Leah’s voice sang into the phone. “I’ve been waiting for almost and hour!” “I know but I just like to freak you out sometimes, Em.” Leah said then giggled. “Okay, whatev, I’ll be over in 10.” “KK, see you there.” Emma hung up the phone and ran to the door. “Mom, going over Leah’s swimming. I’ll bring my cell and be back around nine-ish.” “Okay, Honey have fun and call me when you get there.” Her mom yelled back. “OK, bye mom, love ya.” Emma called back and ran out the door before her mom replied. She hopped on her bike and rode up the street to Leah’s. Casey was already in the pool and swimming. Emma pulled of the clothes over her bathing suit and called to Casey, “Hey, Case! When’d you get here?” “Oh, I’ve been here for like a half hour or something like that.” Emma flashed a look at Leah. Leah just smiled a jumped in the pool. Emma sat at the edge and rubbed sunscreen on her arms and legs. Casey and Leah both looked at each other then splashed Emma with a bunch of water. The sunscreen bottle flew into the water and sunk to the bottom of the pool. Emma dived down to get it and threw it next to her bag. “You guys are so nice to me.” Emma said with a smile. “Yep, we know.” Casey laughed. “Hey Casey!” Leah’s mom called out the screen door. “Hamburger or hotdog?” “Hamburger, please!” Casey called back. “And you Emma?” “Hot dog!” Emma yelled “OK, and Casey, you want cheese right?” “Yea.” Casey called back. In about 5 minutes Leah’s dad was out at the grill and soon enough, the whole neighborhood smelled of hamburgers and hotdogs. When they were done the girls ran out of the pool and ate their burgers and hot dogs and the second they were done, they jumped back into the pool. For almost 3 hours they swam and splashed each other. “Leah, you gotta promise to call us a million times this summer so we can swim.” Casey said. “Yea, I’ll try.” Leah replied.

What if my best friend is kinda crazy? OK now dont get me wrong this girl is like a sister to me she lends me her manga (japanese books for those who dont know) we talk about alot of stuff usually anime and manga cute guy like who we like in different manga but lately shes been waaaaaaaaaaaaaay into it we all have nicknames (mine is kagure from fruits basket, hers is near from death note, our other friend is misa again death note, our newest friend is mello again death note and one of our friends since forever is matsuda again death note) and then i think last week near said she saw matt from death note in her bed and he had bed head our friend misa told me but the story was different both times she told me, once it was matt there with his ciggerate and his ds in her bathroom teh other was matt was in her bed with his goggles, no ciggerate, and his ds on nears dresser. And in both stories he went to mellos house first but near didnt tell me or matsuda only misa and mello just told matsuda that she saw ads in her bedroom but it turned out to be her brothers. Now me and misa are fighting about if matt exists or not im thinking my friend near is kinda crazy because she claims to have recieved roses from guraa (her front yard is full of roses) then wen i slept over we were both still in our pajamas and we went outside to let her dogs out and she said go ahead and go in from the garage ill head in the other way ( we were gonna eat breakfest) so i said sure then she came in and right in front of the door she came in from has this bush with really pretty flowers and she said guraa gave them to her and ever since then ive had a feeling shes lieing to me and every time she talks about going to an anime convention (theyre cool she got this super cute little piplup plushie) we always fight about how najika's (from kitchen Princess) grandma met her and how she met her precious edward (full metal alchemist or fma) now she is always reading death note and shes always talking about anime and i think she isnt just obbessed i think she is crazy and im not gonna be the one to say "near i think u should go to a shrink because those characters dont exist" ive done that before and now shes convincing our other friends that they exist and now my friend matsuda kinda talks about her behind her back and i cant help it but to talk about her to and its getting into this huuuuuuuuuuge mess cuz ive know near my entire life! PLEASE HELP ME I DONT KNOW WAT TO DO I CANT ASK MY PARENTS CUZ THEN THEY WONT BELIEVE MY SISTER AGREES WITH ME THAT SDHE CRZY AND MY BROTHERS AN IDIOT WEN IT COMES TO MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also she kinda scares mello a little since near is a vegaterian mello is afraid to eat meat during lunch so she just eats the side orders finally one day near wasnt watching and we stuffed her mouth with chicken i know i know not the best way to do it but now wenever near isnt looking mello eats meat and near never notices and one time i was at a BBQ and near called and i told her were i was and she said WHY ARE U EATING MEAT and i said one sec near and i asked my mom for ribs and i told near cuz im not trying to polute the world then i hung up on her i mean i can eat meat if i want and eating meat wont kill u being a vegaterian is actually bad for the enviroment because ur eating wat eats the Carbon Dioxide wich is a leading cause of polution. Im not being mean i know being a vegaterian is a life choice and i shouldnt make fun of if and trust me im not being mean im not saying being a vegaterian is bad its ok to want to help the animals but i dont get it why im not allowed to eat meat

Where can I buy all of these? Allen Wrenches, Gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters, trash compactors, juice extractors, shower rods and water meters; Walkie talkies, copper wires, safety goggles, radial tires, BB pellets, rubber mallets, Fans and dehumidifiers; Picture hangars, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shudders, paint removers, window louvers, masking tape and plastic gutters; kitchen faucets, folding tables, weatherstripping, jumper cables, hooks and tackle, grout and speckle, powerfoggers, spoons and ladles, pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication, metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation, air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors, tire gauges, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors; trailer hitch de-magnetizors, automatic circumcisors, tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracell's and Energizer's; socket panels, circuit breakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers, calculators, generators, matching salt & pepper shakers.

Does/did anyone else have these symptoms @ begining of 3rd trimester? Im 27.5 weeks pregnant. And for the past 2 weeks ive been feeling really out of it, and i just cant shake it. I've been really dizzy and light headed, i feel like im really dehydrated but im drinking plenty of water, i get extremely nauseous but only in the middle of the night, im extremely fatigued to where just cleaning the kitchen is a huge ordeal, my heart starts racing and i get a pounding head ache at exactly the same time that lasts about 30 minz. Every time the doc takes my blood pressure its normal tho. I started noticing this week that when i wake up in the morning im perfectly fine, but then about 30 to 40 minz after i eat breakfast all my symptoms flare back up with a vengeance. Breakfast is our biggest meal of the day, we are big breakfast ppl. We almost always have either pancakes, waffles or french toast every day, ive eaten like this for 5 years. Im not overweight, never have been, ive only gained 22 pounds so far this pregnancy. Can anyone give me any input/insight into what you think could be going on like this. IM tired of having zero energy and feeling like im wearing beer goggles!! I dont see my OB again till next week, just lookin for some input until then. Thanks.

We got a new hardware store...? Would you look at all that stuff ... They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters Trash compactors, juice extractors, shower rods and water heaters Walkie-talkies, copper wires, safety goggles, radial tires BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters Paint removers, window louvers, masking tape and plastic gutters Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors Tire gauges, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers Oh yeah, i knew i forgot something My question is, What's the newest thing in your town

Top of the range computer - VS - Faulty Council House Wiring Job.? Hello Yahoo answers community, I hope there are certified electricians out there reading this. Because i need your input. There are two men in my house that have two entirely different hobbies, mine is visiting imagination land and zoning out to many things on my computer, and my brothers is using fairly low end power tools. - - How could the two ever meet, but they have and in the way your probably thinking. My house setup -consumer unit distributing power to the various places from the power point. -both upstairs and downstairs sockets are on the same fuse on the unit. -when we moved in the electrician falsely passed the house as certified. -plus he did not complete full rewiring as we are sure is the case. My Computer Problem, -Whenever my hobbyist brother dons his protective goggles i have had to shut down and remove all computer systems from the mains, because on three occasions, and on several test procedures we have completed, (turning power tools on and off) the power outlet in my room has had a seizure of serious electrical activity. i have also noticed that this surge seems to jump past surge protection, three in total, two brand new. I would love for some qualified persons (or if you have advice) to be gentle with me, as there is a kitchen overhaul for three weeks coming in the next month, i need a lot of input here people. And Thank you for reading this long Question... And for answering it, (If You Do).

what do you think of the next few pages of my story, i put the first few paragraphs in before as a another Q? He walked out of the room quickly giving me a little peck on the cheek. I fell back onto the chair, I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world; I was certainly treated like it. Then I walked out of the door into the garden in my, well his, baggy top over my swimming costume. I took it off and hung it up on the arm of the chair and dived into the pool. I was gliding under water. I heard a splash then I saw a body catching up with me. I went up for air. “Ahh!” I sighed, lifting up my goggles onto the edge of my longish fringe that was sticking to my forehead. I got out of the pool and went to lay down on one of the sun loungers that were draped with a towel. “Boo!” He screamed, squeezing my waist, I’m very ticklish there I must say, “Ahh” I squealed turning around, putting my arm around his neck, kissing him. “Mmmm” I murmured under my breath. His kisses are always breath-taking. Maybe I should tell you about me, I’m Alice and at the moment I am on holiday in Mallorca with my boyfriend, Jack and his parents of course. Tonight we are going to dinner at the restaurant Can Curassa, we have already been there in the last two days, but we loved it there so much we had to go back. It was amazing food and no little kids to bother other people, just peace and quiet well apart from the sounds of the cooking on the stove in the kitchen, scraping of the knife and fork against the plate and the talking, thats most of the noise. Then he stopped, he must have been hot or something because he did a bomb into the pool. He came up for air then shook his hair about, trying to show of in front of me. “Come in please” Jack called from the deep end. He was bobbing up and down. I was cold so maybe I should go for a swim, and then I bomb in next to him, making a big splash soaking Jack’s parents. “SORRY!” I called “Don't worry” Mrs Cray said laughing “I was a little hot any ways” and then she lay back down again. I swam some lengths, being watched by him, I was just warming up when something, actually some one, grabbed my legs. I was pulled towards the side, quite fast actually. When I managed to get free from Jacks grip I swam up to him and floated in his arms, well actually he had his arms under water I was floating above them. Then he kissed me again, even more breath-taking than before. Then we swam underwater into the little cave under the rocks, where the water was smoothly tumbling off, making the water in the little cave bubbly, we sat on the rocks that were in a shape of a bench and then decided to go back into the sun. Then Jack picked me up and plonked me on the double lilo then he jumped on him self, causing the lilo to tip over and me to go under. I floated to the top and was again plonked on the lilo, this time Jack was already on. His mighty muscles flexed, again showing off, just a thing he does, he knows it always impresses me, well I give him the thumbs up, I think that’s why he does it. So after the little relaxation period on the lilo I was pushed of as a joke by Jack. Then I went to the sun loungers again and lay there reading my book, P.s I love you, I’ve read it like 3 times already but its an amazing book. Jack came and lay down next to me and started reading over my shoulder. “Please don’t read over my shoulder” I said putting my book down. “Sorry” He said, kissed my nose then went to lay down on the lounger next me. He had his tongue out like a dog would when they are out of breath. I looked over at him and started laughing at him. “Oh sorry” He said and pushed his tongue back in, laughing him self. I got back to reading my book, lay there for about 40 minutes. “LUNCH TIME!” Mr Cray shouted from the BBQ. I stood up. Then reached for Jacks baggy top and slid my head through the head hole, slid my flip-flops on and walked over to the plastic table, where I sat down next to Mrs Cray. I took a sip of my water then started eating my salad and chicken, I asked to start of course, that would be rude if I didn’t. After lunch I went to text my mummy, just to tell her I am ok and that I am having fun. When I got to my phone I found I had one missed call. I looked to see who had called me at the time. I checked my messages. I called voice mail. “You have one new message from Mummy at 2:00 on the 3rd June. “Hey Alice just to say, I hope you have fun and we are all looking forward to see you in 2 weeks, bye love you, oh and say hi to Miranda for me, thanks, bye love you” To delete the message press 3 to repeat press 4” I pressed 3 and slammed my phone shut. Then walked out side. Jack suddenly caught me and pulled me closer to him and hugged me. It was on of those type of hugs that make you warm and comfy. “Mwa mwa” He said, his fingers trailing up and down my neck. “Ahh” I squealed again, “That tickles” I squealed again. He laughed and walked off. I am only 12 so please dont be really really really mean... thanks x

Not sure if this is a good chapter? Ok, guys, thanks for taking your time. Please be critical, but not too harsh. I asked another question like this, and I spent 6 months on the book and the answers were so harsh, I cried! But I am soppy. So good criticism, but not too harsh. Things I could change. XD CHAPTER ONE The sun poured through the crack in my curtains, awaking me from my deep relaxing sleep. My eyes were just slits on my face as I slowly opened them to take a look around my boring bedroom. Today, my house looked so different to how it usually was. It was probably because I was starting school for the first time at my new boring neighborhood. My clothes were lay out at the foot of my bed, waiting to be used, waiting to see the world of education that lay before me. I wondered what it must be like to be clothes, but I hastily stopped wondering before my mind got to the… well you know… the sex part. I slumbered out of my bed, and as my feet touched the floor, I saw my day of school flash before me. A girl, on her own, no-one sitting with her, all on her own... How boring. My daydream of hell was suddenly disrupted by the shrill voice of my mother calling me down for breakfast. Great. Soggy cereal, same as always. I ran down the stairs and yelled: “Look mum, I’m not hungry and I need to get changed. There’s a school bus that comes and I don’t want to miss it.” She stared into my dark brown eyes as I flung into the kitchen (which badly hurt, because I fell into the open fridge and landed on a milk carton) and saw the fear behind them. I knew she was going to lecture me on the brilliant education the new school was going to offer me, just like she did yesterday. I squeezed my eyes shut and braced myself. Thankfully I was saved by the bell, who happened to be the postman delivering a parcel for my older sister Sarah. The person was delivering it, not the bell. This was my que to leave the kitchen and sprint up to my room as fast as I could. This didn’t work out very well, because I tripped over mum’s vacuum that was still on the stairs for some strange reason, and I also had to prise an old milk carton out of my bum. I took my time getting ready for my first day of school. I didn’t want to turn up all goggle eyed and nasty. It was still very early, so I got in the shower and had a long soak in its watery goodness. My towel wasn’t on the warmer, so I had to somehow climb up a non existent ladder to get a spare. What a great way to start a school day. My clothes were still there, on my bed, so silent, so still. I didn’t want to disturb them. Reluctantly, I picked my clothes up and put them on. They weren’t very warm, as my room is the closest to the huge windows that cover our house, but I’m not one to complain. My bag was propped against my door, ready to shut any unwanted visitors out e.g. my brother or my dad who both had a fascination with coming in and spraying me with freezing water. It was so…ugly...and dark and nasty. Not the kind of bag you want to be walking down the road with. I sat on my bed for 30 minutes, and stared into my own world. It was abruptly cut short when my snotty little brother sneezed all over me and ran off laughing. Typical. A honk outside made my heart leap and I fell off the edge of the bed and onto the floor. As I took a look outside, completely flustered by my tragic fall, I was met by the horrific sight of a bright yellow bus filling up with shouting school children. This was my ride. I trudged down the stairs and stalked past my mother, who gave me a huge great smacker on the cheek. “Have a good day hunny!!!” she yelled at me, even though I was standing right next to her. She might have thought I couldn’t hear her over the drone of the smoothie maker. Honestly, mothers! I took a deep breath in and abandoned my house for school. Weird, I know. The school bus queue was very short, so I hopped in the end. As I walked into the bus, a sudden hush whispered throughout the seats and into people’s ears. I stared at them and they stared at me. This was my class. Very welcoming. Not a single hi. I had to sit next to this kid who would not stop gawking at me the entire ride. I hoped no one had put me in the front page of the school magazine. Oh, that would be dire. I arrived at school; it was terrible. The outside of the building was covered in graffiti and what looked like remains of egg yolks probably from the Halloween before. The doors were falling off the hinges and I was too scared to push it open in case they fell right off and crushed me. I had such a real image of it, I screamed and cowered away from the door. This day would be Hell. I could feel it already.

Does anyone else have this Full House Problem?? Full House is a wholesome and delightful show for the whole family. However often when I watch it, I become extremely aroused. I often fantasize about Uncle Jesse and Uncle Joey making sweet man-love on the kitchen table and Bob Saget giving Kimmy Gibbler some Arabian Goggles. Is this harmless fantasy or should I be ashamed for erotisicing America's favorite TV family? PS: Don't judge me. You know you think the same way.

is this a good story so far? also you can add things to my story (if you like) thanks Taylor Mason sat on her best friend Lizzie’s bed as Lizzie packed her clothes for summer. Lizzie pulled a string of hair behind her ear and flopped on the bed. Taylor glanced at Lizzie and chuckled. “Why are frustrating it’s just camp,” Taylor nodded. Lizzie quickly sat up with her mouth gaped wide open. “Just camp-just camp,” she exclaimed. Taylor rolled her eyes getting prepared for another one of Lizzie’s lectures. “Do you know whose going to be at this so called just camp?” Lizzie asked. Taylor raised her eyebrow not really knowing. Lizzie groaned. “Candice Roman that’s who and I don’t want to go up there looking like some trashy loser,” Lizzie said. Taylor smirked, “You are a loser. Lizzie nodded, “Exactly my point. Lizzie walked to her window seat and sighed as she sat down. She looked at two girls dancing in the sprinklers. Then a smirk grew onto her face. “I don’t understand why you don’t want to go,” Lizzie said sadly still looking outside of the window. Taylor folded her arms across her chest thinking of a couple of reasons why she didn’t want to go. Lizzie slowly turned around with her eyes getting watery. “When we were little we use to dream of being superstars,” Lizzie began. Taylor stared into Lizzie’s eyes having a flashback. Lizzie nodded looking at her fingernails. “I guess that dream was just a fantasy,” Lizzie suggested with her voice feeling dry. Taylor was now staring at the floor remembering when she and Lizzie use to perform in talent shows and dance around the house. Lizzie walked over to her bag and pulled out a photo album that read “Best Singer’s Forever”. “Some of the greatest singing are in here I guess I might as well rip these pages out,” Lizzie decided hugging the album close. Taylor’s eyes began to get watery. She couldn’t remember the last time she cried over something as little as this. Taylor sighed and walked to the door. She grabbed the doorknob and looked back at Lizzie. Taylor glanced slowly down at her shoe. She opened the door and walked out sadly. Lizzie threw the album out of the window and flopped down on the bed. Taylor gasped as the album landed beside her feet. She glanced up at Lizzie’s window. Taylor slammed the window closed. Lizzie wiped her tears and continued. She trotted down the sidewalk as she walked girls giggled and talked as she walked by. Taylor rolled her eyes ignoring their snobby comments. She dashed inside of her house and before her mother could say a word her door slammed shut giving everyone a little jump. The next day Taylor was woken by her alarm. She groaned and hit a button not sure which button it was. She sat up and looked outside of her window and Lizzie’s house. Taylor decided to stop thinking about Lizzie. She walked downstairs to find no one in the kitchen and no breakfast. Her little brother John came in yawning. “Where is breakfast,” Taylor questioned confusedly. John glanced at the table and shrugged. Taylor sighed and sat down at the table. “What’s the matter sweetie,” her Mother asked coming in with groceries. Behind her came Lizzie and her Mother. Taylor felt a little awkward around Lizzie. Then Taylor took a deep breath and nodded. “Shouldn’t we be visiting Father its Father’s day,” Taylor demonstrated. Her Mother froze and dropped the groceries. Everyone was silent as she walked slowly to Taylor. “Sweetie, your Father-doesn’t want to be bothered with me,” her Mother nodded. Taylor folded her arms hesitating. Then she gasped holding up her finger. “Drop me off on his front porch,” Taylor suggested. Her Mother glanced at Lizzie’s Mother. Lizzie’s Mother smiled and stepped up. “We have a book club meeting today sorry,” she informed. Taylor’s mouth gaped wide open then she slowly turned her head to her Mother. Then she nodded, “I get it you still think he doesn’t want me I saw those pictures of him holding me he still loves me,” Lizzie urged. Her Mother exhaled. “People can change,” her mother explained. Taylor nodded giving her the “duh” eyes. “Exactly my point he probably has changed he probably still loves me,” Taylor assured. Taylor stomped upstairs. John sighed nodding his head. “Teenagers,” he complained. Taylor was in her room listening to her I-pod then there was a knock at the door. Lizzie stepped inside and sat on the bed beside her. “Hey,” she said with her voice dry. Taylor slowly looked up at stared at her for a while and back at the album she was looking at. Then a smile spreaded across her face. “How much does this camp cost,” Taylor wondered. Lizzie smirked and gave Taylor a hug. A tear drop fell on the back on Taylor’s shirt she let go and glanced at the album. A couple of days later Taylor found her head on a taxi door. She fixed her hair and glanced over at Lizzie who was still snoozing away. Taylor giggled and continued to look out the window. She watched as two horses raced each other around a gate. The taxi driver looked in his front view mirror. “About time you woke up we’ll be there in fifteen seconds,” he informed. Taylor studied her watch which read 5:45. “Toby get that camera out my face,” Lizzie mumbled. Taylor did a little snicker. All of a sudden Lizzie’s eyes popped open. Taylor uncovered her mouth and smirked. “Wakey-wakey sleepy head,” Taylor taunted. Lizzie stuck out her tongue and sat up straight. She stared out the window. Taylor thought about camp was like she had never been to camp before and it was awkward for her first time to be at the age of 15. “I am so nervous,” Taylor claimed. Lizzie faced Taylor and nodded. “Don’t be we’re like the seniors of this camp the only people who should be nervous are freshmen,” Lizzie’s shrugged. Taylor bucked her eyes with that “duh” face again. “Hello, I am a freshman,” Taylor said. Lizzie turned her mouth into a shape of an “O”. Lizzie and Taylor gasped as they pulled up to this big lodge. The taxi driver got out of the car and got their bags. “They have really re-constructed this place,” Lizzie said with shock. Taylor stepped out of the car staring at big shady trees and the tinted windows. “Yeah, it looks exactly like the brochure,” Taylor scoffed being sarcastic. Other girls and boys piled up at the door of the camp. Taylor took her bag from the driver and exhaled. Lizzie rest her arm on her shoulder. “Welcome to my second favorite home,” Lizzie introduced and walked off. “Welcome to my second most nightmare,” Taylor mumbled. They walked inside of the lodge looking around as if they were touring a museum. Taylor rolled her eyes wishing she was back at home. “Next,” a lady called. Lizzie and Taylor walked up to the counter. “Names,” she said. Lizzie glanced at Taylor. “Uh, Taylor and Lizzie,” Taylor piped up realizing that was her cue. The lady stared at the chart. Then she smirked. “Seniors eh cabin C32 enjoy your last year at camp,” the lady assured. Lizzie and Taylor walked away feeling a little awkward. Soon enough they got over that feeling at headed to their new cabin. CHAPTER TWO They stepped inside of their new cabin to find a very rotten smell. They both coughed as soon as they hit the first step. When Lizzie walked inside she gasped with her eyes bulging. “Sarah,” Lizzie exclaimed hugging a girl who had goggles on her face. She was also wearing a weird scientist suit Lizzie checked out her suit and giggled. “I’m assuming that rotten smell is another one of your experiments gone bad,” Lizzie questioned. Sarah chuckled handing Lizzie and Taylor goggles. “Actually, it’s going exactly well at my new high school they have a science teacher who invented our teachers lounge toaster,” Sarah informed. Lizzie squinted her eye feeling a bit confused. “Your science teacher is Charles Strite?” Lizzie wondered. Sarah nodded, “No, I said our teacher’s lounge toaster. Lizzie nodded her head as she formed her mouth to an “O”. Then Sarah poured some chemicals into a tube and quickly covered it up as it changed colors. Taylor groaned as she threw her bags onto this bed. When she threw her bags on the bed it began to shake. “Ooh, water bed,” Taylor exclaimed flopping on the bed. Sarah’s eyes bulged as she quickly ran toward Taylor. Then she pulled her up. “What is your problem,” Taylor exclaimed. Sarah panted for breath then she pointed towards some electrical cords leading to the bed. “That is not water bed that is a massage bed,” Sarah explained. Taylor raised her eyebrows and sat back down. Sarah quickly pulled her back up to finish her story. “An electrical massage bed that has messed up and is now filled with electrical and explosive chemicals,” Sarah informed. Taylor was very confused how come she didn’t explode when she sat on it. Sarah paced back and forth then she nodded her head. Sarah pushed Taylor in the bed and smirked. “The reason why it didn’t explode is because it didn’t have a lot of weight on it, but if it had over about 159 pounds it would’ve exploded,” Sarah told everyone. Taylor leaned closer to Lizzie and whispered, “Wow, I could’ve used her on my end of the year Science and Math test. Out of nowhere a girl with long curly hair a cute fancy black dress came in with some tinted shades and black high heels. A big muscular man followed up behind her. She gave everyone an air kiss until she spotted Taylor. “Oh, great more poor losers I have to become friends with,” she muttered under her breath. Lizzie joined along and grabbed the girl by her shoulder. “Actually, Eva this is my best friend Taylor the one I was telling you about,” Lizzie muttered between her teeth. Eva knew she was ordering her to be nice. Eva gasped holding out her hand. Then she blew Taylor a kiss. “Your beautiful voice is going to make you some millions of dollars,” Eva assured just being nice. The rich life is so wonderful you can buy friends. Taylor raised her eyebrows she knew Eva actually stood for Evil. She noticed that Evil (I mean Eva) had a British accent. Eva carried along how she bought this hotel in Rome. Taylor rolled her eyes as she huffed and puffed hoping this day will soon end. Then Eva could just turn into a vampire at 12:00 and bite her. Taylor figured it would be better than listening to her drone on and on. Eva did another annoying gasp. Taylor knew she had to prepare for all these gasps, gasps, and did I mention gasps. “You know what Rome reminds me of,” Eva asked with all hope and glee in the world. “What,” everyone groaned. Eva did a laugh. “Candice Roman,” Eva began. Taylor’s eyes bulged she had finally found something interesting that she actually wanted to listen to. “Candice Roman is such a goodie-too-shoes one time I spent a night over her house she was so-o-o boring,” Eva complained. On second thought Taylor did not feel like hearing her idol being disrespected. Although, Taylor did hate goodie-too-shoes and also evil-voodoos. “May I put these bags down,” the man finally asked. Eva rolled her eyes. “Chuck you are such a worthless loser I could even hold some stinking bags,” Eva growled snatching the bags away. All of a sudden Eva’s leg began to shake. Then she threw the bags on the bed. POOOOOP!!! Eva screamed a cloud of smoke was in her face. Everyone fanned it away and found Eva covered in black ashes. Taylor laughed out loud. Eva slowly turned her head with her nose turned up giving her a dirty look. Taylor stopped laughing and covered her mouth. i had everything indented i don't know what happeend

I was hit by my ex, this is my story, how to get over this? (very long, in actual "story" format)? The tears were running down my face. I couldn’t believe it. I wanted to go back to my own little dream world a world where he, the man who I thought loved me, hadn’t hit me for one of the most trivial reasons known to mankind. He wanted sex, I didn’t. What was he, a caveman? Couldn’t he understand the word no? I had screamed, begged, and cried, and now I was standing in the shower, being weak, and tears running down my face. Or, in reality, one couldn’t refer to them as running anymore. What was really happening could only be compared to pouring rain, the tears were pouring down my face. Or was it the shower water? I ran my tongue across my bottom lip. I tasted the salt, it tasted like sorrow. Deep sorrow and so much pain. I felt the sobs rake over my body, but I couldn’t hear them. Had the water made me deaf? No, it was the numb feeling. I could feel the bruises, but most prominent were the bruises on my heart, the ones that made every breath feel like a knife stabbing at my insides. Do you remember the little mermaid? Not the Disney version, I mean the real folklore. In that brutal version part of the witches curse is that the little mermaid has to take every step and feel like knives are making their way into the soles of her feet. That’s what I felt like…many tiny knives making their way into my heart. With every breath more pain came. And with more pain, came more tears. I felt like I could never be clean again. I hadn’t even been able to turn the water hot enough. I could feel it scalding my skin, but it didn’t hurt as much as the bruises left behind on my heart. Sighing deeply, I closed my eyes. “One, two, three, four, five,” I counted loudly to quiet my inner voice. All of a sudden I wrenched my eyes open, heavy breathing- his eyes. His deep blue, cold eyes were starring into mine whenever I closed them. The tears that had ceased began anew. Stronger this time. If the past minute had been pouring rain, this was a tsunami of tears. Maybe I would drown in tears I thought, no hoped to myself. Bastard. The word flashed through my mind. But I love him. Came next. But he doesn’t love you. Tears…more tears. Why won’t he love me? Because I’m horrible, I thought. Because I bit him, because I didn’t sleep with him. If I really loved him, I would have done it. I knew that this was true, but why didn’t I love him? He was kind to me. He beat you, and he was kind? Stupid girl. Yes, stupid girl. Stupid girl for provoking him, for biting him, for letting him hurt me. Even more tears. If I tell someone he’ll murder me. If I don’t tell someone I’ll murder myself. The water was making me dizzy; I turned of the water and walked to the linen closet to get myself a big towel. The water was dripping between my shoulder blades, but my back was hurting, so I didn’t feel strong enough to simply wrap a towel around it. The heat had made the mirror in the bathroom useless, so I walked up the one tilted on my armoire. I knew what I would see, but the gasp still escaped my lips. Bruises, a split lip, more bruises, my cheek, where he had boxed it was a deep purple from the burst blood capillaries. Slowly I lifted the towel; the ribs not only hurt when touched, but also looked like they had been hurt. When he had touched them, touched was most definitely the wrong word, when he had abused them I had felt it. And now I could see it. It scared me more than I had thought. More tears started their tsunami approach, but none of that scared me as much as my eyes. They were dark and swollen from crying. And when one looked closer, when I looked closer I could see the hurt, the tumult going on inside my horribly muddled brain. The thoughts flying around as if they had been shot out by a pin ball machine were jumping from one end to the next. From conclusion to problem, and back again to start anew. Pyjamas. Yes, finally, a practical thought. I went over to my closet, rummaging through the mess. Picking up the most comfortable thing I could find, my grandmother’s old dressing gown. Barefoot I stumbled into the hallway, going into the kitchen to find myself some chocolate. I needed to be soothed by something, needed it or else I would collapse. I wanted my mommy, but in a way I didn’t. I was glad to know that both of my parents were gone for the night to meet with our landlord and that my baby sister was safely parked at her babysitter’s house. It didn’t take me long to find the chocolate, along with some tee, and a heating blanket. Walking on my tip toes I went to my bed…and just sank down on it. Setting the tea down carefully, looking at the picture of Audrey Hepburn hung high on my wall. Audrey, the role model in every situation…a woman that had in a way helped me to get through any phase in my life. When I was sad I’d pop Breakfast at Tiffanies in the VCR and have a good long cry at the, “I don’t want to put you in a cage, I want to love you,” part. Love, there we had it again. How would Audrey handle love? Audrey was married three times, she didn’t handle it very well. I wanted one love, one final love that would last me a lifetime. Nothing less and nothing more, but of course that is quite a lot to wish for. But, this isn’t about Audrey Hepburn. This is about Katie Alee. Normal girl, also known as a complicated wreck. That’s me. And I worried about what Audrey would do, but I didn’t’ know what she would do…I only know what I did. I cried. Fell down onto my bed and sobbed away. If that wouldn’t be embarrassing enough, I sobbed words, and they were, “I want my mommy.” I sobbed those words like a mad woman also known as a toddler. Over and over again. “Mommy, mommy, mommy, help me.” It took me a while, but at some point I moved on to asking god why he was doing this to me. I had never truly believed in god, maybe a goddess, but never god. Here I was, after minutes, though it felt like hours, of crying for my mommy begging god to tell me why I was being punished like I was. Was it because I didn’t go to church? Was I a bad girl? Was I a bad person? Yes, I had decided. Yes, I am. If I wasn’t, the universe wouldn’t be punishing me. After that phase I sat up on my bed, drank the tea that had gotten cold by now, ate some chocolate and begged to let it work. Now, looking back on it I realise that I did a lot of begging that night. Begging for happiness and begging for answers. That would be all the begging for one night though, because what I did next would be the action that I’d regret for weeks, maybe years, to come. I stood up. Went back into the hallway, crossed over to the living room, and got the phone. Then I went back, slipped under the cool covers, and turned on the comforting heating blanket. Seconds later I was feeling warm on the outside, even if I was even colder on the inside. I dialled. Even though I didn’t like the girl I was calling very much, I knew her number by heart, because it is the number one calls when one feels alone and afraid of the world. Her name was Faith Conn and she lived about 10 minutes away from the house I had lain on the floor of just hours ago. It rang. She picked up, answering the phone on the third ring in that horrendously sweet voice of hers. My tongue needed to be untwisted, but I did it in time and told her who was calling. She sounded surprised, but pleased to hear from me. We chit chatted about school and our grades for a few minutes. She asked me about how I was liking honours classes, I told her that it was a challenge, but also a challenge that I craved and needed. All of a sudden she asked me how my day had been and the sobs started again. I do believe that I scared her a lot that night. Everything came tumbling out. Every fear, every move…everything I did and everything that he did. She was silent. Then she coughed, said, “What an asshole, leave him,” and that was it. My world was crashing down around me and all she had to say was that? Next, “Why didn’t you want to sleep with him, though. You two always look so in love?” My throat twisted again and I felt like throwing up. “Katie?” came her question out of the receiver. I was numb, “Because, I wasn’t ready, because…I didn’t want to, because,” every one of my “becauses” were running into one another until the tears and the sobs started and every sounded obscure and stupid and unbelievable. She was silent, and from one second to the next her demeanour changed, “Alright, we’ll see each other in school,” and then hung up. After that hang up, the first traces of real loneliness came tearing down on me. Who did I usually call when I was scared and alone? Him. Who couldn’t I call? Him. The Elvis lyrics came tumbling into my brain, “I’m so lonesome I could cry,” and I was. I felt like everything had left me, like nothing could ever help me again. I got up again, this time to put make-up on, because I knew that my mother would come in to check on me as soon as she got home. This is where another battle started. How do I hide this? How? I goggled and goggled, until I found a promising side that was teaching girls how to hide hickeys. Well, this was a similar thing, it wasn’t a love bite, it was done in anger, but it had similar results. I layered the make-up on after cooling the bruises with an ice pack I usually used after dance class because my muscles would feel sore. I changed my white bedding to a very colourful one, because I was afraid that the make-up would be left behind on the linen. Laid back down, turned the heating blanket to a comfortable temperature, and stared at the ceiling. For hours and hours I didn’t move a muscle except for the one known as my brain. That muscle wouldn’t stop working. It was still making out every single scenario. Everything that could have gone differently than it had. At some point I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up whimpering. Have you ever woken up crying? Probably not, it is not a very pleasant thing to happen. Now, I had the wonderful act of waking up crying at 4 in the morning. I felt like a bus had hit me, even worse like a bus had hit me and I would never get up again. I wanted to die. It was as simple as that. A stronger person than me would have probably done it, but as always, I was too much of a coward to just walk into the bathroom, get out the aspirin, and take ten. I knew that it would have killed me. I’m small I’m not even allowed to take the adult dose of medicine. Ten little pills would have been enough, but I didn’t do it. Couldn’t do it because I was too afraid of dying. I wasn’t sure why I was crying. Yes, the images kept playing in my head, over and over again. His eyes, his cold, dark blue eyes making their way into mine…his hands, which were cold and sweaty, but most of all much too strong. Why couldn’t I be a jazz dancer? I mean, ballet was hard and all, but I did not give you the type of muscles used to fend of an attacker. So, there were the images and then of course the pain. Everything ached. I could not point out a single part of my body that didn’t hurt. My eyes hurt from crying, my hands from shielding myself, my face from the obvious, and even my teeth hurt. Before my mind got a chance to start up again I swung my legs out of bed, wincing in the process, but still going on. Fantastic, was my first thought. He robs me of my dignity and of my ability to just do what needs to be done. He was making the usual act of just going numb a lot harder. This wasn’t numb, this hurt. It hurt like hell… Padding back into the kitchen to make myself a sandwich, looking out the window to see that the parents had gotten home already. After I made the sandwich I went downstairs to the basement. Turned on the TV and smiled as the On Demand welcome screen popped up. I needed comedy, so Sex and the City it was. Four hours of Samantha’s lucid sexscapades later I was sitting there. I didn’t laugh at all. I was just sitting there, glad to hear some sort of noise. Afraid of the quiet, because I knew that the silence would be filled by my never ending sobs very quickly. I wanted to be strong, I didn’t want to cry anymore, didn’t want to think about what had happened, but the more I tried not to think, the more I thought, the more I cried. He had always been hurtful. Had always hurt me mentally, once or twice slapped me, but I never thought about it. Sure, he was a real man…he was never gentle, he was like a boxing champion. Always rough. A man that always took that roughness for passion. I didn’t know what had happened to him in his past to make him so incapable of just being gentle. Of just holding me. That incapability to just hold me and tell me that everything would be okay. And now, now nothing would ever be okay again. I'm not with him anymore. I am now in a very caring and loving relationship with a man that is trying to help me get over those events in my life.

Person to answer the most of these questions (or all) wins 10 points? don't say something like "you have too much time on your hands" i found this on the internet and simply copied and pasted it, you can tell i didn't type it all because it's far more than 1000 characters, whoever can answer the most or if it's possible ALL these questions will earn 10 points and most importantly, my respect BEGIN :) What's the difference between a novel and a book? How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth? If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket? If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Do penguins have knees? Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on? How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel? If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk? Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you? If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven? If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy? Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"? Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts? Can you cry underwater? You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color? If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient? Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are? If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe? If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets? Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness? Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on? How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time? If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"? When the French swear do they say pardon my English? Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head? How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they call someone "late" if they died early? Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast? If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans? If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family? Why are red buttons always the most important? How is chess considered a sport? Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit? If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to? If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"? If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs? Would you die if you didn't pee? Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man? How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. When Jewish People go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they? If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up? Could you be a closet claustrophobic? Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them? If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes? Where do all the daylight savings hours go? Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head? What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror? Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT" Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"? How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt? Why doesn't broccoli come in a can? Can you slam a revolving door? How young can you be, but still die of old age? What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder? Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons? What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card? Can you read a picture book? Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism? Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts! If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror? if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19? What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8? What shape is the sky? If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead? Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves? If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking? If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them? What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea? Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic?

thing to ponder. ( a lot!!!)? What's the difference between a novel and a book? How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth? If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket? If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Do penguins have knees? Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on? How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel? If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk? Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you? If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven? If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy? Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"? Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts? Can you cry underwater? You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color? If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient? Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are? If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe? If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets? Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness? Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on? How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time? If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"? When the French swear do they say pardon my English? Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head? How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they call someone "late" if they died early? Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast? If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans? If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family? Why are red buttons always the most important? How is chess considered a sport? Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit? If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to? If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"? If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs? Would you die if you didn't pee? Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man? How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. When Jewish People go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they? If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up? Could you be a closet claustrophobic? Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them? If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes? Where do all the daylight savings hours go? Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head? What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror? Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT" Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"? How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt? Why doesn't broccoli come in a can? Can you slam a revolving door? How young can you be, but still die of old age? What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder? Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons? What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card? Can you read a picture book? Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism? Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts! If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror? if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19? What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8? What shape is the sky? If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead? Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves? If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking? If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them? What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea? Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic?

Things to ponder? What's the difference between a novel and a book? How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth? If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket? If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Do penguins have knees? Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on? How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel? If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk? Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you? If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven? If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy? Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"? Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts? Can you cry underwater? You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color? If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient? Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are? If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe? If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets? Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness? Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on? How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time? If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"? When the French swear do they say pardon my English? Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head? How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they call someone "late" if they died early? Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast? If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans? If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family? Why are red buttons always the most important? How is chess considered a sport? Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit? If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to? If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"? If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs? Would you die if you didn't pee? Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man? How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. When Jewish People go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they? If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up? Could you be a closet claustrophobic? Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them? If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes? Where do all the daylight savings hours go? Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head? What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror? Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT" Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"? How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt? Why doesn't broccoli come in a can? Can you slam a revolving door? How young can you be, but still die of old age? What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder? Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons? What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card? Can you read a picture book? Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism? Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts! If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror? if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19? What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8? What shape is the sky? If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead? Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves? If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking? If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them? What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea? Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic?

questions!? How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel? If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk? Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you? If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven? If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy? Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"? Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts? Can you cry underwater? You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color? If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient? Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are? If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe? If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets? Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness? Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on? How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time? If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"? When the French swear do they say pardon my English? Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head? How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they call someone "late" if they died early? Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast? If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans? If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family? Why are red buttons always the most important? How is chess considered a sport? Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit? If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to? If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"? If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs? Would you die if you didn't pee? Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man? How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. When Jewish People go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they? If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up? Could you be a closet claustrophobic? Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them? If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes? Where do all the daylight savings hours go? Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head? What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror? Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT" Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"? How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt? Why doesn't broccoli come in a can? Can you slam a revolving door? How young can you be, but still die of old age? What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder? Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons? What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card? Can you read a picture book? Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism? Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts! If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror? if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19? What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8? What shape is the sky? If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead? Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves? If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking? If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them? What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea? Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic?What's the difference between a novel and a book? How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth? If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket? If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Do penguins have knees? Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?

Just 4 Fun? What's the difference between a novel and a book? How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth? If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket? If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Do penguins have knees? Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on? How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel? If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk? Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you? If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven? If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy? Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"? Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts? Can you cry underwater? You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color? If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient? Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are? If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe? If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets? Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness? Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on? How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time? If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"? When the French swear do they say pardon my English? Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head? How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they call someone "late" if they died early? Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast? If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans? If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family? Why are red buttons always the most important? How is chess considered a sport? Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit? If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to? If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"? If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs? Would you die if you didn't pee? Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man? How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. When Atheists go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they? If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up? Could you be a closet claustrophobic? Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them? If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes? Where do all the daylight savings hours go? Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head? What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror? Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT" Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"? How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt? Why doesn't broccoli come in a can? Can you slam a revolving door? How young can you be, but still die of old age? What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder? Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons? What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card? Can you read a picture book? Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism? Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts! If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror? if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19? What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8? What shape is the sky? If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead? Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves? If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking? If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them? What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea? Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic?

if you ansewr all of these you will get ten pionts plus then more piont by another question? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car-pool lane? Can you cry under water? If a man alone in the woods said something would a woman still say he was wrong? Can Bald people have Hairline fractures? What's the difference between a novel and a book? How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth? If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket? If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Do penguins have knees? Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on? How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel? If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk? Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you? If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven? If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy? Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"? Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts? Can you cry underwater? You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color? If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient? Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are? If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe? If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets? Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness? Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on? How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time? If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"? When the French swear do they say pardon my English? Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head? How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they call someone "late" if they died early? Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast? If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans? If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family? Why are red buttons always the most important? How is chess considered a sport? Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit? If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to? If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"? If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs? Would you die if you didn't pee? Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man? How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. When Atheists go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they? If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up? Could you be a closet claustrophobic? Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them? If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes? Where do all the daylight savings hours go? Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head? What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror? Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT" Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"? How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt? Why doesn't broccoli come in a can? Can you slam a revolving door? How young can you be, but still die of old age? What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder? Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons? What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card? Can you read a picture book? Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism? Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts! If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror? if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19? What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8? What shape is the sky? If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead? Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves? f you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking? If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them? What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea? Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic? Why are dandelions considered weeds when daisies are considered flowers? Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? Whenever an adult is kidnapped why isn't it called adultnapped?? Why do blacklights look purple? Did Yankee Doodle name the feather, hat, town, or his pony Macaroni? Why is it that people duck in the rain, do they really think the rain won't hit them? How come the Bible is the most stolen book, and one of the ten comandments is "thou shall not steal"? Why isn't the caps lock capitalized? If there's a hole straight through the earth, from the south pole to the north pole, and you jump through it what would happen? would you keep falling forever, or fall back down when you get to the middle, or is it physically impossible? If someone with a nostril ring takes it out, then blows their nose, do they have to cover that hole as well as their nostril holes so that snot does'nt blow out everywere? Isn't it weird that if you rearange the word "teacher" you get "cheater"? How come whenever you start to sing, you automatically sing in a higher voice than you talk? How come people say they ate the last piece of gum, when they really just chew it? If a pope goes to the bathroom, is it considered holy crap? You know the saying "throw ya hands in the air like ya don't care"? why bother doing that if you dont care? Why is there no pine or apple in pineapple? If "Fantasy Island" really granted wishes, why wasn't Tattoo 6'6" ? Why do water bottles have a "best if used by" date? If you called the police station to talk to an officer and he was not there, would that be considered a cop out? Can bald people get a hair line fracture? Why do they put holes in crackers? How come on TV the bell always rings and then the kids go to class, but in real life you need to be in class before the bell rings? Why can the saying "it's all downhill from here." mean both that it will be easy and that it is going to get worse? If all of ACME's products backfire, why does Wile E. Coyote keep buying them? Why do "cool" and "hot" mean the same thing? If you sneeze and fart at the same time, does a vacuum form in your stomach? Why does triangularly cut bread taste better than square bread? Does a baby feel the umbilical cord being cut off? Is it legal to name your kid "Anonymous"? Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? If you have a pet with 2 heads do you have to name both heads? Why can't liquor freeze? If you dig a hole in the south pole are you digging up or down? How come they don't add the time that we are in our mom's to our age? Why do people squint their eyes when they can't see? Wouldn't that just make it less space to see out of? What is a hacky, and why is it in a sack? Who was in the kitchen with Dina? Why do we have to pay a toll on "freeways"? Why do they call them pepperoni if there is no pepper in it? How old does something have to be to become an antique? Can a school teacher give a homeless child homework? Why do they say "an alarm going off," if it is really going on? Do babies produce more spit than adults? How come French fries are not considered a vegetable, they are just deep fried potatoes? Do cows have calf muscles? Why is shampoo clear but conditioner not? If conjoined twins participate in sports, do they count as one or two players? If a singer sings their own song during a karaoke party, is it considered karaoke? Why do mattresses have designs on them when they're always covered with sheets? If you died with braces on would they take them off? If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? Can someone have their head in the clouds and be down-to-earth at the same time? Why is Joey short for Joe, when Joey has more letters? If you were a pastor, and you were getting married, would you hire a pastor, or would you do the wedding yourself? Is there a certain temperature at which it stops being qualified as cold? At what temperature does it qualify as hot? Why is most lunchmeat bigger than the bread? Why is it that whenever you sing to the radio, your voice is higher? Even when you have a low voice? How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown? Have ex-punsters been expunged? Have ex-mathematicians become dysfunctional? Have ex-locomotive engineers been derailed? Have ex-civil lawyers been distorted? Have ex-bankers become disinterested? Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs? You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour before getting out of the water? Can fat people go skinny-dipping? You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"? Would a fly without wings be called a walk? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards? Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission? Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream? Don't you have to get up to get to the tape? Why is the word "abbreviate" so long? Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto? Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same? Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? Why is it when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor? Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC? Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light? Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one? Why is it called a bust, when it stops right before the part it is named after? Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? no they don't wanna be right and i thought it would be fun to get a free 20 pts bu ti guess not ok if you won't anwser them tell me you favorite ok since SOME ppl have anwered i will let the voting deside then woh ever wins will ge the ten extra point thx for reading ( .ps i got this from www.bored.com in the humor section)

was hit by my ex, this is my story, how to get over this? (very long, in actual "story" format)? The tears were running down my face. I couldn’t believe it. I wanted to go back to my own little dream world a world where he, the man who I thought loved me, hadn’t hit me for one of the most trivial reasons known to mankind. He wanted sex, I didn’t. What was he, a caveman? Couldn’t he understand the word no? I had screamed, begged, and cried, and now I was standing in the shower, being weak, and tears running down my face. Or, in reality, one couldn’t refer to them as running anymore. What was really happening could only be compared to pouring rain, the tears were pouring down my face. Or was it the shower water? I ran my tongue across my bottom lip. I tasted the salt, it tasted like sorrow. Deep sorrow and so much pain. I felt the sobs rake over my body, but I couldn’t hear them. Had the water made me deaf? No, it was the numb feeling. I could feel the bruises, but most prominent were the bruises on my heart, the ones that made every breath feel like a knife stabbing at my insides. Do you remember the little mermaid? Not the Disney version, I mean the real folklore. In that brutal version part of the witches curse is that the little mermaid has to take every step and feel like knives are making their way into the soles of her feet. That’s what I felt like…many tiny knives making their way into my heart. With every breath more pain came. And with more pain, came more tears. I felt like I could never be clean again. I hadn’t even been able to turn the water hot enough. I could feel it scalding my skin, but it didn’t hurt as much as the bruises left behind on my heart. Sighing deeply, I closed my eyes. “One, two, three, four, five,” I counted loudly to quiet my inner voice. All of a sudden I wrenched my eyes open, heavy breathing- his eyes. His deep blue, cold eyes were starring into mine whenever I closed them. The tears that had ceased began anew. Stronger this time. If the past minute had been pouring rain, this was a tsunami of tears. Maybe I would drown in tears I thought, no hoped to myself. Bastard. The word flashed through my mind. But I love him. Came next. But he doesn’t love you. Tears…more tears. Why won’t he love me? Because I’m horrible, I thought. Because I bit him, because I didn’t sleep with him. If I really loved him, I would have done it. I knew that this was true, but why didn’t I love him? He was kind to me. He beat you, and he was kind? Stupid girl. Yes, stupid girl. Stupid girl for provoking him, for biting him, for letting him hurt me. Even more tears. If I tell someone he’ll murder me. If I don’t tell someone I’ll murder myself. The water was making me dizzy; I turned of the water and walked to the linen closet to get myself a big towel. The water was dripping between my shoulder blades, but my back was hurting, so I didn’t feel strong enough to simply wrap a towel around it. The heat had made the mirror in the bathroom useless, so I walked up the one tilted on my armoire. I knew what I would see, but the gasp still escaped my lips. Bruises, a split lip, more bruises, my cheek, where he had boxed it was a deep purple from the burst blood capillaries. Slowly I lifted the towel; the ribs not only hurt when touched, but also looked like they had been hurt. When he had touched them, touched was most definitely the wrong word, when he had abused them I had felt it. And now I could see it. It scared me more than I had thought. More tears started their tsunami approach, but none of that scared me as much as my eyes. They were dark and swollen from crying. And when one looked closer, when I looked closer I could see the hurt, the tumult going on inside my horribly muddled brain. The thoughts flying around as if they had been shot out by a pin ball machine were jumping from one end to the next. From conclusion to problem, and back again to start anew. Pyjamas. Yes, finally, a practical thought. I went over to my closet, rummaging through the mess. Picking up the most comfortable thing I could find, my grandmother’s old dressing gown. Barefoot I stumbled into the hallway, going into the kitchen to find myself some chocolate. I needed to be soothed by something, needed it or else I would collapse. I wanted my mommy, but in a way I didn’t. I was glad to know that both of my parents were gone for the night to meet with our landlord and that my baby sister was safely parked at her babysitter’s house. It didn’t take me long to find the chocolate, along with some tee, and a heating blanket. Walking on my tip toes I went to my bed…and just sank down on it. Setting the tea down carefully, looking at the picture of Audrey Hepburn hung high on my wall. Audrey, the role model in every situation…a woman that had in a way helped me to get through any phase in my life. When I was sad I’d pop Breakfast at Tiffanies in the VCR and have a good long cry at the, “I don’t want to put you in a cage, I want to love you,” part. Love, there we had it again. How would Audrey handle love? Audrey was married three times, she didn’t handle it very well. I wanted one love, one final love that would last me a lifetime. Nothing less and nothing more, but of course that is quite a lot to wish for. But, this isn’t about Audrey Hepburn. This is about Katie Alee. Normal girl, also known as a complicated wreck. That’s me. And I worried about what Audrey would do, but I didn’t’ know what she would do…I only know what I did. I cried. Fell down onto my bed and sobbed away. If that wouldn’t be embarrassing enough, I sobbed words, and they were, “I want my mommy.” I sobbed those words like a mad woman also known as a toddler. Over and over again. “Mommy, mommy, mommy, help me.” It took me a while, but at some point I moved on to asking god why he was doing this to me. I had never truly believed in god, maybe a goddess, but never god. Here I was, after minutes, though it felt like hours, of crying for my mommy begging god to tell me why I was being punished like I was. Was it because I didn’t go to church? Was I a bad girl? Was I a bad person? Yes, I had decided. Yes, I am. If I wasn’t, the universe wouldn’t be punishing me. After that phase I sat up on my bed, drank the tea that had gotten cold by now, ate some chocolate and begged to let it work. Now, looking back on it I realise that I did a lot of begging that night. Begging for happiness and begging for answers. That would be all the begging for one night though, because what I did next would be the action that I’d regret for weeks, maybe years, to come. I stood up. Went back into the hallway, crossed over to the living room, and got the phone. Then I went back, slipped under the cool covers, and turned on the comforting heating blanket. Seconds later I was feeling warm on the outside, even if I was even colder on the inside. I dialled. Even though I didn’t like the girl I was calling very much, I knew her number by heart, because it is the number one calls when one feels alone and afraid of the world. Her name was Faith Conn and she lived about 10 minutes away from the house I had lain on the floor of just hours ago. It rang. She picked up, answering the phone on the third ring in that horrendously sweet voice of hers. My tongue needed to be untwisted, but I did it in time and told her who was calling. She sounded surprised, but pleased to hear from me. We chit chatted about school and our grades for a few minutes. She asked me about how I was liking honours classes, I told her that it was a challenge, but also a challenge that I craved and needed. All of a sudden she asked me how my day had been and the sobs started again. I do believe that I scared her a lot that night. Everything came tumbling out. Every fear, every move…everything I did and everything that he did. She was silent. Then she coughed, said, “What an asshole, leave him,” and that was it. My world was crashing down around me and all she had to say was that? Next, “Why didn’t you want to sleep with him, though. You two always look so in love?” My throat twisted again and I felt like throwing up. “Katie?” came her question out of the receiver. I was numb, “Because, I wasn’t ready, because…I didn’t want to, because,” every one of my “becauses” were running into one another until the tears and the sobs started and every sounded obscure and stupid and unbelievable. She was silent, and from one second to the next her demeanour changed, “Alright, we’ll see each other in school,” and then hung up. After that hang up, the first traces of real loneliness came tearing down on me. Who did I usually call when I was scared and alone? Him. Who couldn’t I call? Him. The Elvis lyrics came tumbling into my brain, “I’m so lonesome I could cry,” and I was. I felt like everything had left me, like nothing could ever help me again. I got up again, this time to put make-up on, because I knew that my mother would come in to check on me as soon as she got home. This is where another battle started. How do I hide this? How? I goggled and goggled, until I found a promising side that was teaching girls how to hide hickeys. Well, this was a similar thing, it wasn’t a love bite, it was done in anger, but it had similar results. I layered the make-up on after cooling the bruises with an ice pack I usually used after dance class because my muscles would feel sore. I changed my white bedding to a very colourful one, because I was afraid that the make-up would be left behind on the linen. Laid back down, turned the heating blanket to a comfortable temperature, and stared at the ceiling. For hours and hours I didn’t move a muscle except for the one known as my brain. That muscle wouldn’t stop working. It was still making out every single scenario. Everything that could have gone differently than it had. At some point I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up whimpering. Have you ever woken up crying? Probably not, it is not a very pleasant thing to happen. Now, I had the wonderful act of waking up crying at 4 in the morning. I felt like a bus had hit me, even worse like a bus had hit me and I would never get up again. I wanted to die. It was as simple as that. A stronger person than me would have probably done it, but as always, I was too much of a coward to just walk into the bathroom, get out the aspirin, and take ten. I knew that it would have killed me. I’m small I’m not even allowed to take the adult dose of medicine. Ten little pills would have been enough, but I didn’t do it. Couldn’t do it because I was too afraid of dying. I wasn’t sure why I was crying. Yes, the images kept playing in my head, over and over again. His eyes, his cold, dark blue eyes making their way into mine…his hands, which were cold and sweaty, but most of all much too strong. Why couldn’t I be a jazz dancer? I mean, ballet was hard and all, but I did not give you the type of muscles used to fend of an attacker. So, there were the images and then of course the pain. Everything ached. I could not point out a single part of my body that didn’t hurt. My eyes hurt from crying, my hands from shielding myself, my face from the obvious, and even my teeth hurt. Before my mind got a chance to start up again I swung my legs out of bed, wincing in the process, but still going on. Fantastic, was my first thought. He robs me of my dignity and of my ability to just do what needs to be done. He was making the usual act of just going numb a lot harder. This wasn’t numb, this hurt. It hurt like hell… Padding back into the kitchen to make myself a sandwich, looking out the window to see that the parents had gotten home already. After I made the sandwich I went downstairs to the basement. Turned on the TV and smiled as the On Demand welcome screen popped up. I needed comedy, so Sex and the City it was. Four hours of Samantha’s lucid sexscapades later I was sitting there. I didn’t laugh at all. I was just sitting there, glad to hear some sort of noise. Afraid of the quiet, because I knew that the silence would be filled by my never ending sobs very quickly. I wanted to be strong, I didn’t want to cry anymore, didn’t want to think about what had happened, but the more I tried not to think, the more I thought, the more I cried. He had always been hurtful. Had always hurt me mentally, once or twice slapped me, but I never thought about it. Sure, he was a real man…he was never gentle, he was like a boxing champion. Always rough. A man that always took that roughness for passion. I didn’t know what had happened to him in his past to make him so incapable of just being gentle. Of just holding me. That incapability to just hold me and tell me that everything would be okay. And now, now nothing would ever be okay again.

This is my life, my sadness, told in real story format to help me get over the pain? My partner had the idea of me writing down my story (of how I was beaten) for myself and for other people who share(d) my predicament. It would be very kind if you could also write some ideas on how to get over this. I will not be seeing a psychologist for quite some time, because I had very bad childhood experiences with them, please do not suggest it. Tears The tears were running down my face. I couldn’t believe it. I wanted to go back to my own little dream world a world where he, the man who I thought loved me, hadn’t hit me for one of the most trivial reasons known to mankind. He wanted sex, I didn’t. What was he, a caveman? Couldn’t he understand the word no? I had screamed, begged, and cried, and now I was standing in the shower, being weak, and tears running down my face. Or, in reality, one couldn’t refer to them as running anymore. What was really happening could only be compared to pouring rain, the tears were pouring down my face. Or was it the shower water? I ran my tongue across my bottom lip. I tasted the salt, it tasted like sorrow. Deep sorrow and so much pain. I felt the sobs rake over my body, but I couldn’t hear them. Had the water made me deaf? No, it was the numb feeling. I could feel the bruises, but most prominent were the bruises on my heart, the ones that made every breath feel like a knife stabbing at my insides. Do you remember the little mermaid? Not the Disney version, I mean the real folklore. In that brutal version part of the witches curse is that the little mermaid has to take every step and feel like knives are making their way into the soles of her feet. That’s what I felt like…many tiny knives making their way into my heart. With every breath more pain came. And with more pain, came more tears. I felt like I could never be clean again. I hadn’t even been able to turn the water hot enough. I could feel it scalding my skin, but it didn’t hurt as much as the bruises left behind on my heart. Sighing deeply, I closed my eyes. “One, two, three, four, five,” I counted loudly to quiet my inner voice. All of a sudden I wrenched my eyes open, heavy breathing- his eyes. His deep blue, cold eyes were starring into mine whenever I closed them. The tears that had ceased began anew. Stronger this time. If the past minute had been pouring rain, this was a tsunami of tears. Maybe I would drown in tears I thought, no hoped to myself. Bastard. The word flashed through my mind. But I love him. Came next. But he doesn’t love you. Tears…more tears. Why won’t he love me? Because I’m horrible, I thought. Because I bit him, because I didn’t sleep with him. If I really loved him, I would have done it. I knew that this was true, but why didn’t I love him? He was kind to me. He beat you, and he was kind? Stupid girl. Yes, stupid girl. Stupid girl for provoking him, for biting him, for letting him hurt me. Even more tears. If I tell someone he’ll murder me. If I don’t tell someone I’ll murder myself. The water was making me dizzy; I turned of the water and walked to the linen closet to get myself a big towel. The water was dripping between my shoulder blades, but my back was hurting, so I didn’t feel strong enough to simply wrap a towel around it. The heat had made the mirror in the bathroom useless, so I walked up the one tilted on my armoire. I knew what I would see, but the gasp still escaped my lips. Bruises, a split lip, more bruises, my cheek, where he had boxed it was a deep purple from the burst blood capillaries. Slowly I lifted the towel; the ribs not only hurt when touched, but also looked like they had been hurt. When he had touched them, touched was most definitely the wrong word, when he had abused them I had felt it. And now I could see it. It scared me more than I had thought. More tears started their tsunami approach, but none of that scared me as much as my eyes. They were dark and swollen from crying. And when one looked closer, when I looked closer I could see the hurt, the tumult going on inside my horribly muddled brain. The thoughts flying around as if they had been shot out by a pin ball machine were jumping from one end to the next. From conclusion to problem, and back again to start anew. Pyjamas. Yes, finally, a practical thought. I went over to my closet, rummaging through the mess. Picking up the most comfortable thing I could find, my grandmother’s old dressing gown. Barefoot I stumbled into the hallway, going into the kitchen to find myself some chocolate. I needed to be soothed by something, needed it or else I would collapse. I wanted my mommy, but in a way I didn’t. I was glad to know that both of my parents were gone for the night to meet with our landlord and that my baby sister was safely parked at her babysitter’s house. It didn’t take me long to find the chocolate, along with some tee, and a heating blanket. Walking on my tip toes I went to my bed…and just sank down on it. Setting the tea down carefully, looking at the picture of Audrey Hepburn hung high on my wall. Audrey, the role model in every situation…a woman that had in a way helped me to get through any phase in my life. When I was sad I’d pop Breakfast at Tiffanies in the VCR and have a good long cry at the, “I don’t want to put you in a cage, I want to love you,” part. Love, there we had it again. How would Audrey handle love? Audrey was married three times, she didn’t handle it very well. I wanted one love, one final love that would last me a lifetime. Nothing less and nothing more, but of course that is quite a lot to wish for. But, this isn’t about Audrey Hepburn. This is about Katie Alee. Normal girl, also known as a complicated wreck. That’s me. And I worried about what Audrey would do, but I didn’t’ know what she would do…I only know what I did. I cried. Fell down onto my bed and sobbed away. If that wouldn’t be embarrassing enough, I sobbed words, and they were, “I want my mommy.” I sobbed those words like a mad woman also known as a toddler. Over and over again. “Mommy, mommy, mommy, help me.” It took me a while, but at some point I moved on to asking god why he was doing this to me. I had never truly believed in god, maybe a goddess, but never god. Here I was, after minutes, though it felt like hours, of crying for my mommy begging god to tell me why I was being punished like I was. Was it because I didn’t go to church? Was I a bad girl? Was I a bad person? Yes, I had decided. Yes, I am. If I wasn’t, the universe wouldn’t be punishing me. After that phase I sat up on my bed, drank the tea that had gotten cold by now, ate some chocolate and begged to let it work. Now, looking back on it I realise that I did a lot of begging that night. Begging for happiness and begging for answers. That would be all the begging for one night though, because what I did next would be the action that I’d regret for weeks, maybe years, to come. I stood up. Went back into the hallway, crossed over to the living room, and got the phone. Then I went back, slipped under the cool covers, and turned on the comforting heating blanket. Seconds later I was feeling warm on the outside, even if I was even colder on the inside. I dialled. Even though I didn’t like the girl I was calling very much, I knew her number by heart, because it is the number one calls when one feels alone and afraid of the world. Her name was Faith Conn and she lived about 10 minutes away from the house I had lain on the floor of just hours ago. It rang. She picked up, answering the phone on the third ring in that horrendously sweet voice of hers. My tongue needed to be untwisted, but I did it in time and told her who was calling. She sounded surprised, but pleased to hear from me. We chit chatted about school and our grades for a few minutes. She asked me about how I was liking honours classes, I told her that it was a challenge, but also a challenge that I craved and needed. All of a sudden she asked me how my day had been and the sobs started again. I do believe that I scared her a lot that night. Everything came tumbling out. Every fear, every move…everything I did and everything that he did. She was silent. Then she coughed, said, “What an asshole, leave him,” and that was it. My world was crashing down around me and all she had to say was that? Next, “Why didn’t you want to sleep with him, though. You two always look so in love?” My throat twisted again and I felt like throwing up. “Katie?” came her question out of the receiver. I was numb, “Because, I wasn’t ready, because…I didn’t want to, because,” every one of my “becauses” were running into one another until the tears and the sobs started and every sounded obscure and stupid and unbelievable. She was silent, and from one second to the next her demeanour changed, “Alright, we’ll see each other in school,” and then hung up. After that hang up, the first traces of real loneliness came tearing down on me. Who did I usually call when I was scared and alone? Him. Who couldn’t I call? Him. The Elvis lyrics came tumbling into my brain, “I’m so lonesome I could cry,” and I was. I felt like everything had left me, like nothing could ever help me again. I got up again, this time to put make-up on, because I knew that my mother would come in to check on me as soon as she got home. This is where another battle started. How do I hide this? How? I goggled and goggled, until I found a promising side that was teaching girls how to hide hickeys. Well, this was a similar thing, it wasn’t a love bite, it was done in anger, but it had similar results. I layered the make-up on after cooling the bruises with an ice pack I usually used after dance class because my muscles would feel sore. I changed my white bedding to a very colourful one, because I was afraid that the make-up would be left behind on the linen. Laid back down, turned the heating blanket to a comfortable temperature, and stared at the ceiling. For hours and hours I didn’t move a muscle except for the one known as my brain. That muscle wouldn’t stop working. It was still making out every single scenario. Everything that could have gone differently than it had. At some point I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up whimpering. Have you ever woken up crying? Probably not, it is not a very pleasant thing to happen. Now, I had the wonderful act of waking up crying at 4 in the morning. I felt like a bus had hit me, even worse like a bus had hit me and I would never get up again. I wanted to die. It was as simple as that. A stronger person than me would have probably done it, but as always, I was too much of a coward to just walk into the bathroom, get out the aspirin, and take ten. I knew that it would have killed me. I’m small I’m not even allowed to take the adult dose of medicine. Ten little pills would have been enough, but I didn’t do it. Couldn’t do it because I was too afraid of dying. I wasn’t sure why I was crying. Yes, the images kept playing in my head, over and over again. His eyes, his cold, dark blue eyes making their way into mine…his hands, which were cold and sweaty, but most of all much too strong. Why couldn’t I be a jazz dancer? I mean, ballet was hard and all, but I did not give you the type of muscles used to fend of an attacker. So, there were the images and then of course the pain. Everything ached. I could not point out a single part of my body that didn’t hurt. My eyes hurt from crying, my hands from shielding myself, my face from the obvious, and even my teeth hurt. Before my mind got a chance to start up again I swung my legs out of bed, wincing in the process, but still going on. Fantastic, was my first thought. He robs me of my dignity and of my ability to just do what needs to be done. He was making the usual act of just going numb a lot harder. This wasn’t numb, this hurt. It hurt like hell… Padding back into the kitchen to make myself a sandwich, looking out the window to see that the parents had gotten home already. After I made the sandwich I went downstairs to the basement. Turned on the TV and smiled as the On Demand welcome screen popped up. I needed comedy, so Sex and the City it was. Four hours of Samantha’s lucid sexscapades later I was sitting there. I didn’t laugh at all. I was just sitting there, glad to hear some sort of noise. Afraid of the quiet, because I knew that the silence would be filled by my never ending sobs very quickly. I wanted to be strong, I didn’t want to cry anymore, didn’t want to think about what had happened, but the more I tried not to think, the more I thought, the more I cried. He had always been hurtful. Had always hurt me mentally, once or twice slapped me, but I never thought about it. Sure, he was a real man…he was never gentle, he was like a boxing champion. Always rough. A man that always took that roughness for passion. I didn’t know what had happened to him in his past to make him so incapable of just being gentle. Of just holding me. That incapability to just hold me and tell me that everything would be okay. And now, now nothing would ever be okay again. There’s a moment there, a moment where everything around you crumbles to pieces, where you won’t, simply can’t believe that something like this could happen to me. I was beginning to think that I had made it all up, it was a dream. Then I’d look in the mirror and see a monster starring back. I never did like blood, but in those quiet moments of despair I began hating it for what it did to a person. In a way it made me want to see more, it made me want to claw at my face… so that I couldn’t hide it anymore, if the wounds were open I couldn’t cover them, but on the other hand I knew that I had to hide them. No one would believe me, and if they did , they would say that I tempted him. The “poor boy” didn’t have a chance against the evil witch that I was. So, I hid everything. I hid it all that first weekend, and then it was time to go back to school. I hadn’t spoken to him all weekend, which had made my mother suspicious. She asked me whether we were fighting. I said no, even though we were fighting, but it was a different kind of battle. He had won the physical part, but I was going to win with mental strength, I wouldn’t call him to beg for forgiveness, I couldn’t call. I knew that he’d deny it all. I got on the ugly, yellow school bus the next day and sat down next to Bobby, because I knew that our friendly banter would take my mind off of things. It did work, at least for a little while. As soon as we were getting of the bus I saw him. Leaning against one of the lockers, right inside the corridor to the cafeteria. That was unusual, he usually waited in the cafeteria, not outside. He was smiling at me, waving, but in a way I could tell that something was wrong. As I walked in on legs that felt like jelly, I almost ran after Bobby, almost begged him to stay. But he just told me that he’d see me later and made his way over to Sam and Brian. My steps stopped in front of him. I slowly looked at his face and smiled, his face was a sarcastic mask. “Got anything to tell me?” came his question as he pulled me into a quieter place by the guy’s bathrooms. “No,” I whispered. “Lied about anything recently?” “No…” “Told any friends that I beat you up on Friday…no?” came the sarcasm again, “We’ll talk about this later,” and he pulled me roughly to my locker. We stopped in front of the café. He swiftly kissed me on the lips, for show I suppose, a way to tell me that I’d better keep quiet. I quickly walked over to Faith and asked, “Did you tell him?” She turned to me coldly and just said, “You’re a liar,” and then turned away again. I will never forget standing there, feeling like everything had left me, and feeling the conformation, that no one would believe me- no one would ever see. I could feel the tears shooting into my eyes again and the felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist. A quiet, “hey baby,” whispered into my ear. I took a step away from him, smiled with tears in my eyes, shook his hands away, and sprinted to the bathroom. You lied… No I didn’t. Yes, you did. No, I almost screamed it. Alone again…I could hear my footsteps echoing against the tiles in the bathroom, as I walked over to the sinks and just starred at my face in the mirror. If you didn’t know the injuries were there, you wouldn’t notice them. No one noticed them. They don’t exist… I starred at my face in the mirror until my eyes started to water from not blinking, until I couldn’t really see a face anymore, it was just lines…and lies. The first bell rang…and I made my way to English.

Part 1 of my 'ideal school' essay.? I wrote this essay for a contest. how's my 'ideal school'? My ideal school would be a boarding school, placed in a great city named Venheimen, far-far in the future. My ideal school would have around 2000 students and be named Morgan Aniston Secondary Boarding School, after the great man who founded the city. In my fictional universe, education starts at the age of 6 and ends at 16, with the option of university for the graduates. Students from the age of 6 to 11 go to primary school, where they would take the Primary School Examination (PSE) which will decide which secondary school they would go to. Students 12 to 16 go to secondary school and take the Secondary School Examination (SSE) at the age of 16. In my ideal school, classes start at 9am and finish at around 4pm, with lunch at noon lasting 1 hour. Friday classes end 1 hour early. Students study compulsory subjects such as English, Mathematics, Additional Mathematics, Science, Astrology, Computer Technology, World History, Basic Geography and Creative Art and have a choice to study elective courses such as French, Chinese, German, Biology, Chemistry, Advanced Computer Technology, Advanced Geography, Space Research, Business Studies, Music and Professional Art. Students are required to take at least 2 elective courses. Creativity is highly encouraged among students in the school. Students create an endless stream of new inventions, letting their dreams come to life, though not all of which are positive and work well. Once, a group of boy students built a war robot to battle against another team’s robot. The robot went awry, grabbing a hair design and fashioning machine made by a group of girl students and started hitting everyone on the head with it. To end the situation, a group of teachers and students hit the robot on the head with sledgehammers and mallets. The robot returned the hair design and fashioning machine to its creators, who were given such a bad haircut they had to be warded for shock. There is a computer room with virtual-reality computers where the internet is an interactive space one can delve in. Antivirus programs are virtual rifles held in one’s hand shooting corrupt files and viruses. Games are played with eye goggles and motion sensor gloves. The virtually unlimited number of games forced the school to limit computer time to 2 hours a week on weekends because students were spending 20 hours a day in the computer lab. This has upset many students. There is a hair salon for girls where they change their hair to any style and colour they want. Every Friday there are arms training lessons given to all students at 3pm. This is because all healthy 17 years olds have to go for military service for 1 year. They are taught the art of Gunkata, martial arts with weapons, the notoriously difficult art of avoiding an enemy’s weapon fire and firing your gun, practiced with click guns. Unarmed combat training is also given, causing a worrying trend of kung fu fights in the halls and full hospital wings every Friday. The secondary objective for arms training is to relieve the stress the students feel after a weeks worth of classes and homework. Students are free to leave the school on weekends and wander around the city or return home as long as they are back by 8pm on Sunday. Students are strictly forbidden from borrowing live weapons from the arms locker at all times. Breakfast consists of buttered toast, oatmeal, porridge, cereal, eggs, sausages and jam with coffee. Lunch, Steamed rice, cornmeal, bread, chicken, fish, vegetables and potatoes, whereas dinner is a hearty affair of lamb chops, roast chicken, vegetables and potatoes with Yorkshire pudding. The students select their desired meal on computer screens and their order will be served within 2 minutes. Students are allowed to be creative with their food as well, creating many awkward, strange and downright disgusting combinations of food. Instant noodles were served when there was a feast and everyone finished everything in the kitchens save for nissin noodles. A breakdown in communication (the telephone broke, and no one could call telecoms) ensured hearty meals of noodles 3 times a day for a week. There was a decrease in interest in noodles among all students. Students are also allowed to cook their own meals during cooking classes once a week to improve their skills. Many students found their hidden talent, creating exceptional meals of great taste, while many others find that their talents lay elsewhere, because their cooking was utterly repulsive. Once some students made Beef Wellington using a real, stinking Wellington boot stuffed with old beef they bought from a bargain bin and fried in mashed potato gravy, the smell of which caused 5 students to faint and 1 teacher poisoned because she was forced to try it, and let us not talk of the time someone tried to make a Baked Alaskan. Students are required to spend 2 hours a day in study rooms,

I was hit by my ex, this is my story, how to get over this? (very long, in actual "story" format)? The tears were running down my face. I couldn’t believe it. I wanted to go back to my own little dream world a world where he, the man who I thought loved me, hadn’t hit me for one of the most trivial reasons known to mankind. He wanted sex, I didn’t. What was he, a caveman? Couldn’t he understand the word no? I had screamed, begged, and cried, and now I was standing in the shower, being weak, and tears running down my face. Or, in reality, one couldn’t refer to them as running anymore. What was really happening could only be compared to pouring rain, the tears were pouring down my face. Or was it the shower water? I ran my tongue across my bottom lip. I tasted the salt, it tasted like sorrow. Deep sorrow and so much pain. I felt the sobs rake over my body, but I couldn’t hear them. Had the water made me deaf? No, it was the numb feeling. I could feel the bruises, but most prominent were the bruises on my heart, the ones that made every breath feel like a knife stabbing at my insides. Do you remember the little mermaid? Not the Disney version, I mean the real folklore. In that brutal version part of the witches curse is that the little mermaid has to take every step and feel like knives are making their way into the soles of her feet. That’s what I felt like…many tiny knives making their way into my heart. With every breath more pain came. And with more pain, came more tears. I felt like I could never be clean again. I hadn’t even been able to turn the water hot enough. I could feel it scalding my skin, but it didn’t hurt as much as the bruises left behind on my heart. Sighing deeply, I closed my eyes. “One, two, three, four, five,” I counted loudly to quiet my inner voice. All of a sudden I wrenched my eyes open, heavy breathing- his eyes. His deep blue, cold eyes were starring into mine whenever I closed them. The tears that had ceased began anew. Stronger this time. If the past minute had been pouring rain, this was a tsunami of tears. Maybe I would drown in tears I thought, no hoped to myself. Bastard. The word flashed through my mind. But I love him. Came next. But he doesn’t love you. Tears…more tears. Why won’t he love me? Because I’m horrible, I thought. Because I bit him, because I didn’t sleep with him. If I really loved him, I would have done it. I knew that this was true, but why didn’t I love him? He was kind to me. He beat you, and he was kind? Stupid girl. Yes, stupid girl. Stupid girl for provoking him, for biting him, for letting him hurt me. Even more tears. If I tell someone he’ll murder me. If I don’t tell someone I’ll murder myself. The water was making me dizzy; I turned of the water and walked to the linen closet to get myself a big towel. The water was dripping between my shoulder blades, but my back was hurting, so I didn’t feel strong enough to simply wrap a towel around it. The heat had made the mirror in the bathroom useless, so I walked up the one tilted on my armoire. I knew what I would see, but the gasp still escaped my lips. Bruises, a split lip, more bruises, my cheek, where he had boxed it was a deep purple from the burst blood capillaries. Slowly I lifted the towel; the ribs not only hurt when touched, but also looked like they had been hurt. When he had touched them, touched was most definitely the wrong word, when he had abused them I had felt it. And now I could see it. It scared me more than I had thought. More tears started their tsunami approach, but none of that scared me as much as my eyes. They were dark and swollen from crying. And when one looked closer, when I looked closer I could see the hurt, the tumult going on inside my horribly muddled brain. The thoughts flying around as if they had been shot out by a pin ball machine were jumping from one end to the next. From conclusion to problem, and back again to start anew. Pyjamas. Yes, finally, a practical thought. I went over to my closet, rummaging through the mess. Picking up the most comfortable thing I could find, my grandmother’s old dressing gown. Barefoot I stumbled into the hallway, going into the kitchen to find myself some chocolate. I needed to be soothed by something, needed it or else I would collapse. I wanted my mommy, but in a way I didn’t. I was glad to know that both of my parents were gone for the night to meet with our landlord and that my baby sister was safely parked at her babysitter’s house. It didn’t take me long to find the chocolate, along with some tee, and a heating blanket. Walking on my tip toes I went to my bed…and just sank down on it. Setting the tea down carefully, looking at the picture of Audrey Hepburn hung high on my wall. Audrey, the role model in every situation…a woman that had in a way helped me to get through any phase in my life. When I was sad I’d pop Breakfast at Tiffanies in the VCR and have a good long cry at the, “I don’t want to put you in a cage, I want to love you,” part. Love, there we had it again. How would Audrey handle love? Audrey was married three times, she didn’t handle it very well. I wanted one love, one final love that would last me a lifetime. Nothing less and nothing more, but of course that is quite a lot to wish for. But, this isn’t about Audrey Hepburn. This is about Katie Alee. Normal girl, also known as a complicated wreck. That’s me. And I worried about what Audrey would do, but I didn’t’ know what she would do…I only know what I did. I cried. Fell down onto my bed and sobbed away. If that wouldn’t be embarrassing enough, I sobbed words, and they were, “I want my mommy.” I sobbed those words like a mad woman also known as a toddler. Over and over again. “Mommy, mommy, mommy, help me.” It took me a while, but at some point I moved on to asking god why he was doing this to me. I had never truly believed in god, maybe a goddess, but never god. Here I was, after minutes, though it felt like hours, of crying for my mommy begging god to tell me why I was being punished like I was. Was it because I didn’t go to church? Was I a bad girl? Was I a bad person? Yes, I had decided. Yes, I am. If I wasn’t, the universe wouldn’t be punishing me. After that phase I sat up on my bed, drank the tea that had gotten cold by now, ate some chocolate and begged to let it work. Now, looking back on it I realise that I did a lot of begging that night. Begging for happiness and begging for answers. That would be all the begging for one night though, because what I did next would be the action that I’d regret for weeks, maybe years, to come. I stood up. Went back into the hallway, crossed over to the living room, and got the phone. Then I went back, slipped under the cool covers, and turned on the comforting heating blanket. Seconds later I was feeling warm on the outside, even if I was even colder on the inside. I dialled. Even though I didn’t like the girl I was calling very much, I knew her number by heart, because it is the number one calls when one feels alone and afraid of the world. Her name was Faith Conn and she lived about 10 minutes away from the house I had lain on the floor of just hours ago. It rang. She picked up, answering the phone on the third ring in that horrendously sweet voice of hers. My tongue needed to be untwisted, but I did it in time and told her who was calling. She sounded surprised, but pleased to hear from me. We chit chatted about school and our grades for a few minutes. She asked me about how I was liking honours classes, I told her that it was a challenge, but also a challenge that I craved and needed. All of a sudden she asked me how my day had been and the sobs started again. I do believe that I scared her a lot that night. Everything came tumbling out. Every fear, every move…everything I did and everything that he did. She was silent. Then she coughed, said, “What an asshole, leave him,” and that was it. My world was crashing down around me and all she had to say was that? Next, “Why didn’t you want to sleep with him, though. You two always look so in love?” My throat twisted again and I felt like throwing up. “Katie?” came her question out of the receiver. I was numb, “Because, I wasn’t ready, because…I didn’t want to, because,” every one of my “becauses” were running into one another until the tears and the sobs started and every sounded obscure and stupid and unbelievable. She was silent, and from one second to the next her demeanour changed, “Alright, we’ll see each other in school,” and then hung up. After that hang up, the first traces of real loneliness came tearing down on me. Who did I usually call when I was scared and alone? Him. Who couldn’t I call? Him. The Elvis lyrics came tumbling into my brain, “I’m so lonesome I could cry,” and I was. I felt like everything had left me, like nothing could ever help me again. I got up again, this time to put make-up on, because I knew that my mother would come in to check on me as soon as she got home. This is where another battle started. How do I hide this? How? I goggled and goggled, until I found a promising side that was teaching girls how to hide hickeys. Well, this was a similar thing, it wasn’t a love bite, it was done in anger, but it had similar results. I layered the make-up on after cooling the bruises with an ice pack I usually used after dance class because my muscles would feel sore. I changed my white bedding to a very colourful one, because I was afraid that the make-up would be left behind on the linen. Laid back down, turned the heating blanket to a comfortable temperature, and stared at the ceiling. For hours and hours I didn’t move a muscle except for the one known as my brain. That muscle wouldn’t stop working. It was still making out every single scenario. Everything that could have gone differently than it had. At some point I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up whimpering. Have you ever woken up crying? Probably not, it is not a very pleasant thing to happen. Now, I had the wonderful act of waking up crying at 4 in the morning. I felt like a bus had hit me, even worse like a bus had hit me and I would never get up again. I wanted to die. It was as simple as that. A stronger person than me would have probably done it, but as always, I was too much of a coward to just walk into the bathroom, get out the aspirin, and take ten. I knew that it would have killed me. I’m small I’m not even allowed to take the adult dose of medicine. Ten little pills would have been enough, but I didn’t do it. Couldn’t do it because I was too afraid of dying. I wasn’t sure why I was crying. Yes, the images kept playing in my head, over and over again. His eyes, his cold, dark blue eyes making their way into mine…his hands, which were cold and sweaty, but most of all much too strong. Why couldn’t I be a jazz dancer? I mean, ballet was hard and all, but I did not give you the type of muscles used to fend of an attacker. So, there were the images and then of course the pain. Everything ached. I could not point out a single part of my body that didn’t hurt. My eyes hurt from crying, my hands from shielding myself, my face from the obvious, and even my teeth hurt. Before my mind got a chance to start up again I swung my legs out of bed, wincing in the process, but still going on. Fantastic, was my first thought. He robs me of my dignity and of my ability to just do what needs to be done. He was making the usual act of just going numb a lot harder. This wasn’t numb, this hurt. It hurt like hell… Padding back into the kitchen to make myself a sandwich, looking out the window to see that the parents had gotten home already. After I made the sandwich I went downstairs to the basement. Turned on the TV and smiled as the On Demand welcome screen popped up. I needed comedy, so Sex and the City it was. Four hours of Samantha’s lucid sexscapades later I was sitting there. I didn’t laugh at all. I was just sitting there, glad to hear some sort of noise. Afraid of the quiet, because I knew that the silence would be filled by my never ending sobs very quickly. I wanted to be strong, I didn’t want to cry anymore, didn’t want to think about what had happened, but the more I tried not to think, the more I thought, the more I cried. He had always been hurtful. Had always hurt me mentally, once or twice slapped me, but I never thought about it. Sure, he was a real man…he was never gentle, he was like a boxing champion. Always rough. A man that always took that roughness for passion. I didn’t know what had happened to him in his past to make him so incapable of just being gentle. Of just holding me. That incapability to just hold me and tell me that everything would be okay. And now, now nothing would ever be okay again.

This is my life, my sadness, told in real story format to help me get over the pain? My partner had the idea of me writing down my story (of how I was beaten) for myself and for other people who share(d) my predicament. It would be very kind if you could also write some ideas on how to get over this. I will not be seeing a psychologist for quite some time, because I had very bad childhood experiences with them, please do not suggest it. Tears The tears were running down my face. I couldn’t believe it. I wanted to go back to my own little dream world a world where he, the man who I thought loved me, hadn’t hit me for one of the most trivial reasons known to mankind. He wanted sex, I didn’t. What was he, a caveman? Couldn’t he understand the word no? I had screamed, begged, and cried, and now I was standing in the shower, being weak, and tears running down my face. Or, in reality, one couldn’t refer to them as running anymore. What was really happening could only be compared to pouring rain, the tears were pouring down my face. Or was it the shower water? I ran my tongue across my bottom lip. I tasted the salt, it tasted like sorrow. Deep sorrow and so much pain. I felt the sobs rake over my body, but I couldn’t hear them. Had the water made me deaf? No, it was the numb feeling. I could feel the bruises, but most prominent were the bruises on my heart, the ones that made every breath feel like a knife stabbing at my insides. Do you remember the little mermaid? Not the Disney version, I mean the real folklore. In that brutal version part of the witches curse is that the little mermaid has to take every step and feel like knives are making their way into the soles of her feet. That’s what I felt like…many tiny knives making their way into my heart. With every breath more pain came. And with more pain, came more tears. I felt like I could never be clean again. I hadn’t even been able to turn the water hot enough. I could feel it scalding my skin, but it didn’t hurt as much as the bruises left behind on my heart. Sighing deeply, I closed my eyes. “One, two, three, four, five,” I counted loudly to quiet my inner voice. All of a sudden I wrenched my eyes open, heavy breathing- his eyes. His deep blue, cold eyes were starring into mine whenever I closed them. The tears that had ceased began anew. Stronger this time. If the past minute had been pouring rain, this was a tsunami of tears. Maybe I would drown in tears I thought, no hoped to myself. Bastard. The word flashed through my mind. But I love him. Came next. But he doesn’t love you. Tears…more tears. Why won’t he love me? Because I’m horrible, I thought. Because I bit him, because I didn’t sleep with him. If I really loved him, I would have done it. I knew that this was true, but why didn’t I love him? He was kind to me. He beat you, and he was kind? Stupid girl. Yes, stupid girl. Stupid girl for provoking him, for biting him, for letting him hurt me. Even more tears. If I tell someone he’ll murder me. If I don’t tell someone I’ll murder myself. The water was making me dizzy; I turned of the water and walked to the linen closet to get myself a big towel. The water was dripping between my shoulder blades, but my back was hurting, so I didn’t feel strong enough to simply wrap a towel around it. The heat had made the mirror in the bathroom useless, so I walked up the one tilted on my armoire. I knew what I would see, but the gasp still escaped my lips. Bruises, a split lip, more bruises, my cheek, where he had boxed it was a deep purple from the burst blood capillaries. Slowly I lifted the towel; the ribs not only hurt when touched, but also looked like they had been hurt. When he had touched them, touched was most definitely the wrong word, when he had abused them I had felt it. And now I could see it. It scared me more than I had thought. More tears started their tsunami approach, but none of that scared me as much as my eyes. They were dark and swollen from crying. And when one looked closer, when I looked closer I could see the hurt, the tumult going on inside my horribly muddled brain. The thoughts flying around as if they had been shot out by a pin ball machine were jumping from one end to the next. From conclusion to problem, and back again to start anew. Pyjamas. Yes, finally, a practical thought. I went over to my closet, rummaging through the mess. Picking up the most comfortable thing I could find, my grandmother’s old dressing gown. Barefoot I stumbled into the hallway, going into the kitchen to find myself some chocolate. I needed to be soothed by something, needed it or else I would collapse. I wanted my mommy, but in a way I didn’t. I was glad to know that both of my parents were gone for the night to meet with our landlord and that my baby sister was safely parked at her babysitter’s house. It didn’t take me long to find the chocolate, along with some tee, and a heating blanket. Walking on my tip toes I went to my bed…and just sank down on it. Setting the tea down carefully, looking at the picture of Audrey Hepburn hung high on my wall. Audrey, the role model in every situation…a woman that had in a way helped me to get through any phase in my life. When I was sad I’d pop Breakfast at Tiffanies in the VCR and have a good long cry at the, “I don’t want to put you in a cage, I want to love you,” part. Love, there we had it again. How would Audrey handle love? Audrey was married three times, she didn’t handle it very well. I wanted one love, one final love that would last me a lifetime. Nothing less and nothing more, but of course that is quite a lot to wish for. But, this isn’t about Audrey Hepburn. This is about Katie Alee. Normal girl, also known as a complicated wreck. That’s me. And I worried about what Audrey would do, but I didn’t’ know what she would do…I only know what I did. I cried. Fell down onto my bed and sobbed away. If that wouldn’t be embarrassing enough, I sobbed words, and they were, “I want my mommy.” I sobbed those words like a mad woman also known as a toddler. Over and over again. “Mommy, mommy, mommy, help me.” It took me a while, but at some point I moved on to asking god why he was doing this to me. I had never truly believed in god, maybe a goddess, but never god. Here I was, after minutes, though it felt like hours, of crying for my mommy begging god to tell me why I was being punished like I was. Was it because I didn’t go to church? Was I a bad girl? Was I a bad person? Yes, I had decided. Yes, I am. If I wasn’t, the universe wouldn’t be punishing me. After that phase I sat up on my bed, drank the tea that had gotten cold by now, ate some chocolate and begged to let it work. Now, looking back on it I realise that I did a lot of begging that night. Begging for happiness and begging for answers. That would be all the begging for one night though, because what I did next would be the action that I’d regret for weeks, maybe years, to come. I stood up. Went back into the hallway, crossed over to the living room, and got the phone. Then I went back, slipped under the cool covers, and turned on the comforting heating blanket. Seconds later I was feeling warm on the outside, even if I was even colder on the inside. I dialled. Even though I didn’t like the girl I was calling very much, I knew her number by heart, because it is the number one calls when one feels alone and afraid of the world. Her name was Faith Conn and she lived about 10 minutes away from the house I had lain on the floor of just hours ago. It rang. She picked up, answering the phone on the third ring in that horrendously sweet voice of hers. My tongue needed to be untwisted, but I did it in time and told her who was calling. She sounded surprised, but pleased to hear from me. We chit chatted about school and our grades for a few minutes. She asked me about how I was liking honours classes, I told her that it was a challenge, but also a challenge that I craved and needed. All of a sudden she asked me how my day had been and the sobs started again. I do believe that I scared her a lot that night. Everything came tumbling out. Every fear, every move…everything I did and everything that he did. She was silent. Then she coughed, said, “What an asshole, leave him,” and that was it. My world was crashing down around me and all she had to say was that? Next, “Why didn’t you want to sleep with him, though. You two always look so in love?” My throat twisted again and I felt like throwing up. “Katie?” came her question out of the receiver. I was numb, “Because, I wasn’t ready, because…I didn’t want to, because,” every one of my “becauses” were running into one another until the tears and the sobs started and every sounded obscure and stupid and unbelievable. She was silent, and from one second to the next her demeanour changed, “Alright, we’ll see each other in school,” and then hung up. After that hang up, the first traces of real loneliness came tearing down on me. Who did I usually call when I was scared and alone? Him. Who couldn’t I call? Him. The Elvis lyrics came tumbling into my brain, “I’m so lonesome I could cry,” and I was. I felt like everything had left me, like nothing could ever help me again. I got up again, this time to put make-up on, because I knew that my mother would come in to check on me as soon as she got home. This is where another battle started. How do I hide this? How? I goggled and goggled, until I found a promising side that was teaching girls how to hide hickeys. Well, this was a similar thing, it wasn’t a love bite, it was done in anger, but it had similar results. I layered the make-up on after cooling the bruises with an ice pack I usually used after dance class because my muscles would feel sore. I changed my white bedding to a very colourful one, because I was afraid that the make-up would be left behind on the linen. Laid back down, turned the heating blanket to a comfortable temperature, and stared at the ceiling. For hours and hours I didn’t move a muscle except for the one known as my brain. That muscle wouldn’t stop working. It was still making out every single scenario. Everything that could have gone differently than it had. At some point I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up whimpering. Have you ever woken up crying? Probably not, it is not a very pleasant thing to happen. Now, I had the wonderful act of waking up crying at 4 in the morning. I felt like a bus had hit me, even worse like a bus had hit me and I would never get up again. I wanted to die. It was as simple as that. A stronger person than me would have probably done it, but as always, I was too much of a coward to just walk into the bathroom, get out the aspirin, and take ten. I knew that it would have killed me. I’m small I’m not even allowed to take the adult dose of medicine. Ten little pills would have been enough, but I didn’t do it. Couldn’t do it because I was too afraid of dying. I wasn’t sure why I was crying. Yes, the images kept playing in my head, over and over again. His eyes, his cold, dark blue eyes making their way into mine…his hands, which were cold and sweaty, but most of all much too strong. Why couldn’t I be a jazz dancer? I mean, ballet was hard and all, but I did not give you the type of muscles used to fend of an attacker. So, there were the images and then of course the pain. Everything ached. I could not point out a single part of my body that didn’t hurt. My eyes hurt from crying, my hands from shielding myself, my face from the obvious, and even my teeth hurt. Before my mind got a chance to start up again I swung my legs out of bed, wincing in the process, but still going on. Fantastic, was my first thought. He robs me of my dignity and of my ability to just do what needs to be done. He was making the usual act of just going numb a lot harder. This wasn’t numb, this hurt. It hurt like hell… Padding back into the kitchen to make myself a sandwich, looking out the window to see that the parents had gotten home already. After I made the sandwich I went downstairs to the basement. Turned on the TV and smiled as the On Demand welcome screen popped up. I needed comedy, so Sex and the City it was. Four hours of Samantha’s lucid sexscapades later I was sitting there. I didn’t laugh at all. I was just sitting there, glad to hear some sort of noise. Afraid of the quiet, because I knew that the silence would be filled by my never ending sobs very quickly. I wanted to be strong, I didn’t want to cry anymore, didn’t want to think about what had happened, but the more I tried not to think, the more I thought, the more I cried. He had always been hurtful. Had always hurt me mentally, once or twice slapped me, but I never thought about it. Sure, he was a real man…he was never gentle, he was like a boxing champion. Always rough. A man that always took that roughness for passion. I didn’t know what had happened to him in his past to make him so incapable of just being gentle. Of just holding me. That incapability to just hold me and tell me that everything would be okay. And now, now nothing would ever be okay again. There’s a moment there, a moment where everything around you crumbles to pieces, where you won’t, simply can’t believe that something like this could happen to me. I was beginning to think that I had made it all up, it was a dream. Then I’d look in the mirror and see a monster starring back. I never did like blood, but in those quiet moments of despair I began hating it for what it did to a person. In a way it made me want to see more, it made me want to claw at my face… so that I couldn’t hide it anymore, if the wounds were open I couldn’t cover them, but on the other hand I knew that I had to hide them. No one would believe me, and if they did , they would say that I tempted him. The “poor boy” didn’t have a chance against the evil witch that I was. So, I hid everything. I hid it all that first weekend, and then it was time to go back to school. I hadn’t spoken to him all weekend, which had made my mother suspicious. She asked me whether we were fighting. I said no, even though we were fighting, but it was a different kind of battle. He had won the physical part, but I was going to win with mental strength, I wouldn’t call him to beg for forgiveness, I couldn’t call. I knew that he’d deny it all. I got on the ugly, yellow school bus the next day and sat down next to Bobby, because I knew that our friendly banter would take my mind off of things. It did work, at least for a little while. As soon as we were getting of the bus I saw him. Leaning against one of the lockers, right inside the corridor to the cafeteria. That was unusual, he usually waited in the cafeteria, not outside. He was smiling at me, waving, but in a way I could tell that something was wrong. As I walked in on legs that felt like jelly, I almost ran after Bobby, almost begged him to stay. But he just told me that he’d see me later and made his way over to Sam and Brian. My steps stopped in front of him. I slowly looked at his face and smiled, his face was a sarcastic mask. “Got anything to tell me?” came his question as he pulled me into a quieter place by the guy’s bathrooms. “No,” I whispered. “Lied about anything recently?” “No…” “Told any friends that I beat you up on Friday…no?” came the sarcasm again, “We’ll talk about this later,” and he pulled me roughly to my locker. We stopped in front of the café. He swiftly kissed me on the lips, for show I suppose, a way to tell me that I’d better keep quiet. I quickly walked over to Faith and asked, “Did you tell him?” She turned to me coldly and just said, “You’re a liar,” and then turned away again. I will never forget standing there, feeling like everything had left me, and feeling the conformation, that no one would believe me- no one would ever see. I could feel the tears shooting into my eyes again and the felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist. A quiet, “hey baby,” whispered into my ear. I took a step away from him, smiled with tears in my eyes, shook his hands away, and sprinted to the bathroom. You lied… No I didn’t. Yes, you did. No, I almost screamed it. Alone again…I could hear my footsteps echoing against the tiles in the bathroom, as I walked over to the sinks and just starred at my face in the mirror. If you didn’t know the injuries were there, you wouldn’t notice them. No one noticed them. They don’t exist… I starred at my face in the mirror until my eyes started to water from not blinking, until I couldn’t really see a face anymore, it was just lines…and lies. The first bell rang…and I made my way to English.